Wow! It has been more than a month since I last blogged.

So much has happened in that time.. life is such a wild ride and I am ever so grateful for mine.. I am always on exciting adventures and doing the most extraordinary things, in the most ordinary of circumstances.

So, today I am sitting in front of my Quark Laptop. It is "Black Friday" - the day after thanksgiving. I am in Phoenix, Arizona. The sunrise streaming through the uncovered windows.

Ok, let's back up for a second...

From there to here.

So, once I moved from Charlotte, North Carolina, I found myself planted in Denver Colorado. I actually didn't like it all that much at first - except for the beautiful mountains, the snow etc.. I just didn't find that it felt like home for me - until I started my job at Quark.. I made so many good friends and had a blast - did so many new and exciting things and ofcourse the travel around the world only added to it.

My stint in Denver was 2 years exactly. Then I started feeling like I needed to make my way to the oceans of California, where I have always wanted to live for a time. First stop though, Arizona.. Where it is always warm.. the desert..

So, I am still working for Quark at the moment, which is awesome, because I get to ease myself out of it as well as do a real, proper hand-over and leave the job the same way I came in - with commitment and (hopefully) excellence!

It was a long drive. My friend, Scott, did the heavy duty of trucking: the U-Haul with me and Big Turtle - 15 hours long to Arizona. The scenery wasn't great - New Mexico sucks! It was boring!

But with all my belongings, here I am.. a new life begins for me again.

When will I "settle"? People ask.. My answer.. I have never "settled" for anything. I will chase my dreams and live in them and be settled only in my own heart knowing that I am happy and knowing that I am making a difference.. that is all that matters!

Do I want a big house with a morgage and a dog and a routine? Sure.. maybe.. But I had that in South Africa (well, I still do! - except for the dog!).... But now is the time.. as I inch my way closer to 40... for me to let my hair down. Live the wildest adventure of my life. Be all that I can be - what a waste to not live my life to its fullest.

Laugh and cry with all that I am and all that the world is.. and see my dreams unfold before my eyes. I have truly been blessed.. There is not one goal thus far that I have not reached.. nor one dream that I have had that has not come true. Sure, life always throws spanners in the works.. and mine is no exception.. But I have rolled with punches and I have gotten up everytime I got knocked down.

Life is wonderful! here is to my new start.. a new day has dawned in the life of Delise.. and Yes, I will miss all of my friends in Denver - but make no mistake.. I will never forget and never neglect..

I am a very committed friend.. so those of you who dont keep in touch with me.. that is your loss - I am a keep-in-toucher!

Love you all.

Something to blog about.
I must be honest.. there is nothing worse in life’s goals than losing momentum.
Let’s start here:

My book:
I went guns a blazing and got to chapter 4 and then I decided to take a holiday in Brussels and then in New York.. and then and then and then.. when one loses momentum, it is SO hard to get it back right away.
I read through the chapter that I had written and for some obscure reason, I can’t remember where I was going with this character. So that is a little frustrating at the moment.
However – so much has happened and work has been busy – I feel as if I haven’t really connected with the outside world as much as I used to.. I have been absorbed in.. a little self pity and a little busy enjoying being indoors and watching my new programs on TV! Sounds a little sad hey.
Why self- pity? For reasons stated above!

My physical goals
In March I had lost a comfortable amount of weight but it wasn’t really true weight because I wasn’t eating – I was just picking on things to keep me from falling over!
Before Belgium I had gained a little – maybe 4 pounds and I started exercising – the pounds did not come off – but I was feeling great – alive, healthy and looked SOOO much better – toned and slim… well then.. after a holiday(s) like that (those) – I fell off that train and how bloody hard it is to get back on again!
“Just do it” – I can hear you all scream.. Here is the thing about lost momentum.. it is not as simple as “just get off your *** and do it” – you have to reconnect the parts, reassemble the motivation and then kick yourself in the butt and discipline yourself.

However..
There is newness on the horizon for me and I am anticipating good things to come. Some of my friends from South Africa are coming to the USA in December – it is truly something to look forward to. And in the meantime work has been very busy.. I also felt like the corporate momentum was lost – “what do I do again?” – I found myself asking almost every day.. Does a holiday really rot your brain, body and ambition to a standstill?
Yesterday I read a piece in a blog which I LOVED! It was about the strength, flexibility and resilience of palm trees.. and I thought to myself.. That is ME – I am a palm tree – I can get trapped in the hurricanes of life (I know – I am being a little over dramatic) – but “Just like that palm tree I want to find
that I run deeper than I ever thought and somewhere inside myself I have the ability to keep bouncing back.”

The same man posted:
“I’d be the first to admit that life is a balancing act. I believe in working hard… and I mean very hard! But I also believe in taking naps… taking walks… spending time with great people.
When you slow down to the speed of life, it will be amazing how good it feels because this world truly has rhythm. So find its tempo and go with the flow, set sail and live your finest life.”

Isn’t that true?? I am guilty of getting SO caught up in extremes.. my first extreme is that if I don’t have an exciting amazing, ambitious plan on the horizon, my life is dull.
The second extreme is that I can spend days doing absolutely nothing and then get down on myself for not being productive.

So what I really need to realize is: In life I am going to do amazing things. I am going to do dull things. I am going to have a completely ordinary routine and I am going to break unbelievable ground. I am going to be insanely happy and I am going to be sad and miserable and its all GOOD- when I know that nothing lasts forever and never to hold on and plant myself in any one experience, but move with the pace, go through every process and experience it all. And never forget my goals and dreams but never be taken so far out of THIS moment that all I do is live in tomorrow…

Go Palm Tree!

1300 days in the USA…..

I had a lovely weekend in Denver. We had our first snow fall. It was pretty mild; the chill in the air was nice and refreshing. I am not looking forward to the temperatures dropping even more though – but winter.. must.. come…

Yesterday I went to the wild life sanctuary – it was such an emotional and amazing experience. Emotional because I love and appreciate nature and animals. It is very sad how people abuse and torture animals and it was so awesome to see 150 plus animals rescued from zoos, circuses etc where they have been terribly abused.. They get to live in the closest environment to the wild – since they cannot be re-introduced –they have a nice new home where they are cared for and have plenty of space and friends. You can hear the huge Tigers growling, walking around playing in the huge wide open spaces – the land is so vast you need binoculars to see the lions. It was just an uplifting experience for me.

http://www.wildanimalsanctuary.org/

All this inspiration had me thinking about all the things in my life that I am so grateful and humbled to have experienced:

Pieces of me...
From sitting at a race track in Singapore under the majestic city lights watching the F1 cars go by and absorbing myself in the sport I love so much - to staying in a hostel in New York City with my brother trying not to snore. From walking the 7 star luxury lobby of the Burj Al Arab in Dubai to holding the hand of someone dying of AIDS in South Africa. From giving a homeless person a subway meal on the city streets of Denver to speaking Afrikaans to Charlize Theron at the Democratic National Convention. From walking the streets of Paris staring in awe at the Eiffel tower to driving in 5 Super cars on winding roads in Beaver creek.

From dancing in a nightclub in Las Vegas to walking in a Wild life Sanctuary. From modeling in a beauty pageant in Johannesburg to writing a motivational book and having a publisher recognize it. From celebrating my 30th birthday on the canals in Venice to having an AHA! moment walking on the beach in San Diego watching dolphins. From sitting in my tiny cubicle doing budget reports to racing a snow mobile in the mountains of Vail. From driving celebrities around doing their shopping sprees to learning to shoot firearms at a firing range and racing cars on the streets. From sending a child to school and seeing him graduate who would never otherwise have done so, to taking my last R10 and going to watch a cool movie! From having SO much of everything to having next to nothing! Sleeping in a train station in Rome to sleeping in a 5 star resort in Florida.

I can just go on and on. And my life is not just about travelling and having fun, it’s about purpose and making a difference. I have been blessed with so much privilege and so much opportunity and also been given the desire to do so much more with what I have.
Life truly is wonderful! What an adventure. What an opportunity for me to enrich myself, change the world – touch people, help people, improve the environment, help the animals, heal the broken hearted and make someone happy and be happy myself – full of who I am – explore all of who I am and give everything I have in every moment that I am blessed with that I can sigh my last, not with regret but with exhaustion and saying.. Wow!! I truly LIVED my life – Now it’s time to rest!

Until then – I have no desire to “rest” – I want to live and be and feel and do..…
It’s not just my desire – but my obligation – and I am happy to oblige!

Another week draws to a close. I have been at work now for two full weeks after an amazing vacation – and guess what? I survived! LOL.

So winter is starting to set in.. the mornings are darker and the sun hides herself away much earlier. The ski resorts are starting to get ready for their season.
“Somewhere beneath the surface of our wants and needs lies a deeper longing - a yearning that connects us to who and what we are in our essential being”
I am so happy at the moment. As my life progresses forward and I see my goals unfold and start reaching accomplishment, I have come to realize that success, love, happiness is not just in reaching something that you want in the future – the absence of it, the process of getting to it – therein lies life’s ultimate challenge.

Happiness is now. This moment.

I often ask people: “Are you happy” – it seems like a very difficult question for people to answer. The answers I often get are: “I am content”, “I am getting there”, “for what it is right now, I am”. And all those answers are ok – it tells me that people want more. Not simply in a dissatisfactory way – but in a “my soul craves greater things” way.
But even so – happiness is now. Here. This moment. It is the only reality you know. The present.

So I start another relaxing weekend, I have a few things planned, nothing hectic. I just plan to exercise, get some good fresh air, take in a movie and maybe some sleep.. sounds good doesnt it?? :)

Now is the time
My soul must seek and find
And be found in the resting place of happiness
Making its own abode in the stream of non-convention
Clutching the arches of life’s perplexities
Give to me now what is mine, oh world.
Does the world owe me my dreams?
Happy am I in the land of mediocrity

at times
I cry inside for there I cannot live
What is life if not lived
Going in – coming out

stretching reaching

for nothing at all - for everything
How can I find when I do not look?
How can I receive when I do not give
All of me…

will life give me all of her?

US in Denver (The pics were taken on my BB - not very lovely I might add :( )

MY TRAVELS
You know, we are all governed by a circadian rhythm and I have found that travelling through so many time zones as often as I do often messes that rhythm up completely. Makes me arrive in the most exotic places and feel completely off kilter and miserable and wide awake in the dead of night and sleepy in broad daylight!

I have also found myself cursing the security lines and procedure – I mean really – I might as well fly wearing nothing at all. I find myself annoyed that people who all have a destination seem lost all the time. I am annoyed by the cabin pressure – the impending germs and possible turbulence etc.... The constant rush of displacement when you land in an airport for the first time in a different time zone and even a different season.

But lately I realized. ENOUGH with the whining!

Yes, it is inconvenient to feel lost, incoherent and grouchy – but isn’t a lost feeling part of the excitement of travelling to new faraway places? It is a reminder that distance is real. The world really ISNT a small place.. that miles aren’t something we tally up on our frequent flyer accounts. It’s a big world.

There are wide, massive oceans and land masses between us all. It is one of the profound gifts of being alive right now – the ability to get up and go everywhere.. anywhere… to experience the world, the cultures that previous generations only dreamed of. And for us, how easy is it??

We should stand in awe and appreciation that today I can be in America and tomorrow in Russia – where people don’t speak the same languages, wear the same apparel and have a whole history in their nation.

A little sleeplessness, a touch of bewilderment and grouchiness is a small price to pay – a modern ailment that reminds us that we have evolved and advanced in a world where what seemed impossible years ago – is not only possible – but.. Ordinary almost…

From now on.. I am going to appreciate the blessing of my travels with all its turbulence.. J

New York City

After Belgium I had a hectic week at the office and at home and then flew out to New York City to hang out with my family - it was really so nice to reconnect and experience their lives in Long Island and my brother came to Denver to see where I live and hang out here.

In NYC - even though this was my 15th trip out there.. I just love that city - there is so much to see.. so much history, tragedy, shopping, sights, food, music, fashion.. I was there during the Bryant Park - New York Fashion week and saw what the up and coming trends hold for us this Autumn season.

So today my brother left and even though goodbyes are never fun - we had such a fantastic time, I know he loved America ALOT!

In NYC - we did...... well Everything.. From Coffee in Soho and Greenwich Village. To walking through Macy's and up the Empire State Building. We took a cruise up the Hudson to pay Homage to Lady Liberty. And went to see Ground Zero and all the other touristy things.

We stayed in a hostel - which was a first for me! I know in Europe they are SO popular and you meet alot of people. I must say - I enjoyed it. It was very (VERY) basic and it was so liberating to travel that way!! It was in a GREAT location - right on Time Square.

I had never really had the "college life" experience nor have I ever stayed in a hostel or even something similar.. I went from parents to palace (modestly ofcourse)... but anyway - It was SO nice.. and at my ripe old age - I felt like a college kid - everyone is SO nice! And I returned with all my limbs - unlike the movie versions of such places!!

Then to Denver - it was ofcourse, much slower paced - we went up to the Mountains to breathe in some fresh air... see the rock formations and a bit of American history. Such richness and a sense of deeply rooted spirituality with these Native American people who are so unique and beautiful and mysterious...

My favourite writer is from Native American influence... so much passion and depth.. I love that culture.

So - my life is returning to my routine after 4 weeks - yes FOUR weeks wow! and I must say - it has been so much more that I could ever have fathomed.. I knew I was bound for some fun, life changing, perspective enhancing things this year... but I never thought it would come in such droves!

Here's to family and friends from across all the oceans. Thank you so much all. Love you madly. :)