In Other news..

My Turtle is getting way too big for his tank... and I haven't gotten up the courage to spend $150 on a new Tank (much less deciding where to put it) So, I let him have a swim in the bath :D  funny - he didnt like it much.  (Those things that look like droppings are actuallys pebbles..)
and
YES! I cleaned the bath quite thoroughly after! heehee

aww BIG T!

My .. March .. Madness...

I exited February with an amazing explorative weekend to The Mission Inn. It was refreshing and healing in many ways. I just needed to marvel at something.  One does not realize how frustrating being ill can be until you are there and healing just seems so far from you.  I relaxed that weekend, smiled and had a good time.   As I was about to board the plane homeward bound, I started getting one of those annoying eye-twitches.  I thought nothing of it, as you do, and went on my way ready to face work, the world and everything that comes along.  But I was not ready for what came…

The 3 weeks that followed were absolute hell.  I started getting muscle cramps and spasms, so bad in my face and body that I could not sleep or function, I sat  on Google day in and day out trying to “diagnose” myself – which made everything worse.. My hair started falling out, got blisters on my mouth that would not heal for 15 days – everything just seemed SO out of the blue crazy. I cried, I went to back to my dr. twice, stressed, frustrated and sleep deprived.. All my tests were “normal”. I even went for a brain scan! Everything came back “normal”.  After another week, I returned to my Dr.  That day he looked me squarely in the eye and said: “Delise you need to stop your stressing. You are a young, healthy woman, you have NO diseases there is NOTHING wrong with you! You are so stressed out and you need to get on with life and relax”. (That is the short version!)  I went away feeling rather annoyed and also a little gobsmacked.  Was he right?  I wasn’t sure – I wasn’t “consciously” stressed out.   I just knew how I felt and that this wasn’t “NORMAL”.   That Saturday I went to see a holistic medical specialist.  He took one look at me and said: “Your digestion is causing your body not to hold onto nutrition and that is why everything is off balance” – he did acupuncture on me and gave me some stomach herbs.  Also suggested a few relaxation techniques.  I prayed that night – I went to church as usual…

Backing up for a second:

The Acupuncture

So, the man stuck these tiny needles in my body and played some calming music.   He felt my pulse and told me my body is way out of balance, my heat impulses are out of control (whatever that means) It was strange.. Sensations ran through my body and I could feel my body fighting to relax.   But, I closed my eyes and just tried to not pee in my pants (I had forgotten to go the bathroom beforehand!)  Hours passed (well 20minutes actually!)  The dr. came back & we spoke; he gave me a game plan for the next week and sent me on my way. I felt encouraged.

When I got home – it felt like I had taken a sedative. I was fatigued, sleepy like I have never been before. I went to sleep after church – actually.. now that I think about it à did I sleep in  church?? Oh no – I don’t think I did. LOL.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling SO refreshed. All the spasms were gone for the moment. I looked in the mirror and I saw myself again.  You have to understand – weeks prior all I saw was someone fading away – a shadow of what I recognized as me.  My eyebrows were falling out, hair falling out.. and it was a dark, scary place.  A lot of it was more mental than anything else. But it was my reality.

That Sunday, I felt great for the first time in a month! 

I then went for a B12 shot to help my body get the nutrition it needed while my stomach started to heal and changed my diet, kept a food journal.  When I took my blood tests to the guru guy the following week, he said I should have been on thyroid medication, my regular doctor told me I was in the “normal” range. This dr. says I am WAY over the normal range (hmmm…)!  I haven’t yet started taking the meds, I am giving my body a chance to just rest, heal etc.

Well, by that assessment I had a week of great sleep and a week of feeling so energized and amazing that I didn’t want to go on medication!  But I know the road is still long.. I understand that my body needs to heal and balance..  And I went for another session of acupuncture.

All I can say is.. I have come to realize that there is nothing more important on earth than these 3 things:

Faith, Love and your health.  Really – if you don’t have those.. nothing matters.. NOTHING.

Maybe my body just needed the time, maybe my mind caused it all to happen.. maybe the relaxation helped and maybe it’s a combination of it all.

All I know is – I reached UP and God reached down (albeit unconventionally – some might question) – but whatever people’s opinion might be after reading this:

The HEALER ---> and the <---- hurt  Collided somewhere in this story..

and here I am.

On the road to WHOLENESS after a long suffering journey.

The Mission Inn

I took off for the weekend to California, Riverside to be exact.  After 2 weeks of battling with my health, I just needed a "time-out" - A place to relax, to marvel at something new and to pamper myself.

The weekend was more than I expected, it was like being in a  tucked away village in Spain, far from every day life..  I ate great food, and there was just so much to explore and see, my senses were awakened..

And I felt alive again.

Isn't it funny what being sick does to you? It takes away that feeling of really tasting life with all of yourself. 

I feel better and I am on my way to being as fit and healthy as I can be so that I can continue  this amazing journey that life has me on.

The ugly Orgasm Story - Afternoon levity Und Valentine’s Day crap ;)

Have you ever watched someone win the lottery on TV, have their heart broken or had an insane [albeit it faked out] TV orgasm?.. it’s that ugly cry.. Ugly, elated face you make when you just don’t care who is watching!  Imbuing the onerous task on myself of being involved in my world and all its details, I had the proverbial “ugly elated cry /orgasm” face when I got a phone call from the MOST unexpected person on the planet.  I am not telling ANY of you who it is ;)  but it was like all the blood vessels in my face and my body shut down my “be cool”.   The giggles just started and I tried to sound intelligent, but all that came out àof what I can remember (you know being mentally shut down and all) ß was uh.. huh.. eerrrrr yeah.. LMAO. It was great – it was that happiness that comes from your liver.

So, when I was about 15 / 16 – I got home one day and there were hoards of flowers, gifts etc. on my mother’s front stoop.  I was like “what the”?? And it was a bunch of Valentine’s Day gifts and cards from random guys and my mom thought it funny to just leave it there till I got home – kinda like a memorial of something.   The weirdest gift was this sterling silver necklace and the pendant was a marijuana leaf.  I still have the card – ha ha..  Oh to be in school on Valentine’s Day – what absolute torture. I am not sure which was worse, the fear of getting nothing or the fear of getting something from that weird guy with the glass eye!  I must admit I never had the ugly cry/ ugly orgasm face on Valentine’s day – partly because even as a youngster, I never had much interest in it. I have always been a hopeless romantic and a passionate person for every kind of love in every kind of form.. but Valentine’s day seems to always ruin the idea for me.

So, this one time (not in band-camp ;) ), I was crushing big time on Shaheed (yes, at this age you don’t care about naming names! LOL)  It was Valentine’s day we were in the same class (I can’t remember the reason the Matrics (12^th grade) where in the same class as us – I was in standard 8 (10^th grade) and it was freezing.. he offered me his blazer which,  ofcourse. I coyly accepted.  We didn’t have much to do in class so I was writing in my diary and chatting to friends.  When the bell rang I handed back his blazer and he shot me the cute smile.. which was now on my mind all day – ** start of ugly orgasm face** As I was just about to board the bus to go home at the end of the day – I feel this tap on my shoulder and there it is.. the smile.  **insert Billy Ocean music here** And my heart starts racing. So he says: “you forgot your diary in my Blazer pocket.” I was embarrassed, hoping he didn’t read it.  Sitting on the bus with freak-smile-on-face – so I get home and just as I flip open my diary about to write:  “I heart Shaheed”.. I see he DID flip through my diary and he wrote a note on a blank page:  “thanks for the compliment… you are cute”.  Embarrassed, a little annoyed at his forwardness but went to sleep with ugly orgasm butterflies..  HA HA.

Happy Valentine’s Day people!

**  The Life I Live **

So, in the spirit of constant reiteration ->  We all know, I have always said, I kind of lived my life backwards a touch.  Barring talking about school and college:

The 20's – Mrs. Married

I got married right at 20 and did the whole married thing. Family visits, house buying, travelling the world, nesting. Big rock on my finger, charities, businesses, church events, honeymoons, vacations, solid careers, meet and greet celebrities and being in the limelight,  cut my long hair short and wore business suits for respect purposes! what bliss.. My 20’s – what a wonderful time to be young – gain weight and not care.  Just have fun with my soul-mate and love the world I live in. Smile every day and be settled. 

To sum it up – my 20’s were what people generally work towards and gain in their late 30s / 40’s – money, houses, cars, investments, careers and the stability of family, friends and bbqs. J

The 30’s – Ms College girl
I didn’t ACTUALLY go to College in my 30’s – I finished College in my 20’s, but I just equate my lifestyle to that of a college kid in some way:  I moved to another country – lost A LOT of weight – grew my hair really long, worked out and gave myself the treat of a cute little body, wearing cute tiny little outfits etc. . lived in a little bachelor pad, adopted a turtle.  Made some crazy friends. I felt in my 30's that I was finally sane and my body was at its best - skin, hair - everything...  Hopped the bar scene and the club scene, Happy hour cocktails etc.  was all very new to me since I never did that as a teen nor in my 20's.  Dancing the night away – not working, waking up at 10am going to the movies, eating pretzels, playing in the snow  and basically being uber care-free.  "Starring" in movies as an extra, hanging out with teens and giggling at ridiculous things at 12am,  meeting more celebrities all over the world, travelling the world on a whim and no responsibilities whatsoever - all that Jazz.

The sum up of my 30’s is what school kids dream of having once they hit College.. fun, friends, carefree life of dreaming and just hanging! (The only difference is, I had money, time and no assignments!)

The 40’s à Things to come.

And now I am nearing my 40’s and I am starting to think what will it be? (Yes, my 30’s are by NO means done – I have a a few years yet to go).

On my road to this thing called my  40's – I imagine what it will "look" like in my minds' eye.. Is 40 old? am I getting "old" and what are the "expectations" that people will have of me when I have a new box to check on forms?

Well, I for one, I plan to reinvent myself again –>

I am on a determined, resolved race to retain my youth by clean living, hitting this body into hardcore submission by hard work, sweat, water, vitamins, green stuff and the best products money can buy!!  I am in the process of not just losing weight and getting a cute figure.. I am on a muscle mission to get the hottest, healthiest body I can have!!.  I am going to throw caution to the wind and be one of those Kim Catrall, Sophia Vergara, Halle Berry kind of 40-somethings!  Muscle tone, short skirts, tight jeans – I’m entering my prime baby! Watch out world!

I know one thing, I am going to start out strong – I am planning a mother of a party first of all.  A red carpet event bar none!
June 17^th 2015 – mark your calendars!! The whole world will be there.   

Some goals on the journey:

1.       Get my body working like a well-oiled machine – I’m not just talking hot – I mean healthy , fit and toned like never before

2.       Find some closure – and closed it! 

3.       Make some new friends – you know,. The GOOD ones.  The “for- life” ones and ditch the ones that drain me or have no interest

4.       Find a new direction and stop being so cautious about everything – be a little wilder

5.       Get involved!!! And Make even more of a difference than before. Leave a HUGE footprint

6.       Live out loud.. No more quiet little Miss in the background..

7.       Make and save some serious bucks – to give, to eat and to see the world even more..

(oh and to adorn myself with all things fabulous)

What more can one ask for..  The world was made complete on June 17^th, 1975 (no I am not being conceited – just stating facts LOL – my own facts in my own head) – when I arrived.. being all fat and cute.. the world has been on this crazy journey with me – called "MY LIFE"  eversince..

I have given a lot back.. I have been through a lot.. and its only just beginning.. watch this world become different in the next 10 years.  ** WATCH!!!! **

Now, obviously I’m not saying I am going to WAIT till I am 40 to do all this – I am in the process right now.. My point is, by the time MY next decade rolls around.. I will have turned back time on my face and body and added some more fun, experiences, passion and love into my life!

I am excited about the present and about the future.. How I am just becoming better – more Delise..

More ME that I ever dreamed.  Thus far I have completely had a wild, crazy and wonderful life – I have lived out most of my dreams and goals.. and now I have some new ones..

The rest of my life is going to be the best of my life – more than I can ever imagine.  And I am going to look so good doing it.

I look at myself and my dreams as if it were a person and I say passionately:

“As all things are filled with my soul

you emerge from the things, filled with my soul.

You are like my soul, a butterfly of dream”

Khalil Gibran says of time:

You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable.
      You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons.
      Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing.
      Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness,
      And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.
      And that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space.
      Who among you does not feel that his power to love is boundless?
      And yet who does not feel that very love, though boundless, encompassed within the centre of his being, and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor from love deeds to other love deeds?
      And is not time even as love is, undivided and placeless?
      But if in you thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons,
      And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.

Just saying…

The Move – >
I moved..

The move itself was easy and hassle-free however there were a few bumps in the road..

1.       The painters came to de-ugly my wall at the very same time the movers needed to get all the stuff in… so between inhaling paint and primer fumes and eating Cheetos.. I guess it all went fine.

Instead of doing anything else, I decided to go to a movie and out for dinner to rest my wary body and escape the olfactory toxins.

By the time I got home I was miserable – you know that kind of tired that if someone says ONE word to you, you will blow them up even the turtle got his head chopped off!

I went to bed with all the windows and doors open and the fans on high blast and slept oh so peacefully.. Only to awaken with a rash all over my body – blasted!

After 3 days of rash I realized I am allergic to either the water, the carpet or SOMETHING – so the process of elimination begins..

My next step – CLEAN like HELL with all the hypoallergenic stuff I can get my hands on.. water filter, air purifier and LOTS of open windows all day!

 And then It was Superbowl weekend,, All the shops were deserted.. It was wonderful. Watched the game with one eye and cleaned out the house ---- > was a great, relaxed weekend!~

OOOOOOHH .....everyone is wondering what I did on New Year’s eve – since I made a spectacle about what I did in the past and my lacked desire to do anything this (last year).  Well, I spent it at friends’ house – we ate Prime Rib roasted outside, and drank wine, had great laughs and conversation and just hung out really.  We watched the festivities in NYC on TV and danced a bit (or was that my wine remembrance?)  I DO remember showing them the moon walk (ish).  Well, anyway..
 – it was wonderful, just as I had hoped, low key and relaxed.   So this year I will do something spectacular again.. don’t ask me what.. the year has barely begun!

So I finally got an iphone.. (YAY) ..

and now I am ALL about Siri and talking to my phone. Quite entertaining.  I also bought a Canon 30D SLR camera which I plan to take spectacular pictures with.  I had visions of me on magazine cover-look-alikes.. but I cant find the stupid self-timer button (yes, I read the manual! TWICE --->and I don't have photoshop yet! (Amateur!)

but I will soon learn my new techno-barble and it will be wonderful :)  --->>> Hold music <<<<------

The start of 2012

Along with the Milliards of “band-Waggonners”, I am on a “eat better àget fit and young à look great àfeel great and most of all à be happy” Campaign.  Thus far – it is going rather well.  I have discovered Safflower oil and it really does work! Thanks to Dr. Oz, who is my new Guru. J

However, 2012 brought with it all the stomach problems I battled in 2011.. Still no end in sight. And I think I have decided to cave in and take medication L And here is hoping it helps.

On the up side – I am moving into a new apartment.. well, bitter sweet really.. moving from luxury Palace-de Optima (See pics of old apartment aaahhh to live in luxury) to lesser Palace-de Optima (pics not yet available but trust me - its not as nice LOL).   I will miss not only the luxury I have had for 2 years, but also the convenience of living in downtown Scottsdale.  But it is for the best – when I look at my new budget to come and dream about all the things I could rather do than looking at a beautiful apartment (travel, facials, save the world and all that jazz).. I am at peace with this decision – I am sure the new small place in the ghetto won’t be so bad. heehee

I have decided that 2012 is the year I will propel forward.   I have had 2 years of waiting for a lot of things to take shape and now it finally has.  One more thing left – Sell my house in SA. Once that is done, its free sailing.

I went to a Wednesday night service at church, and all I can say is wow..  I just know that this year my dreams are going to start taking shape and I am going to really start to smile from my liver.. J I am in for big things and the passions that I have always had will start to go to new and higher levels.

I believe it.