Update..

Well i can drive now, been through the Charlotte heat and humidity, eaten as many pretzels as my stomache can hold, met a few cool friends, have my regular crazy (only in America Type) shows that i tune into every week or so, picked up a few Americanisms, drank as much refill sodas as possible... now what???

Well, i have started my studies and settling down a bit in the sense of a routine and regularity. Its been really great and i never knew how much i have missed being intellectually stimulated. I guess the human brain was not meant to live by fun and sun alone....

I am on the hunt for a job, and since the winter has settled in, it seems a little bit hard to find. Nevertheless, I press on...

Looking back to the beginning of my blog - i sit here and take Reconnaissance of what i set out to achieve from an inward perspective...

Intimacy with myself, with this world, the intimacy that touches the sacred in all that is life. This experience in the USA has been really unspeakably amazing and at the same time extremely challenging to my fundamental comfort zone.

This ache and longing to be greater and larger than my own heart and soul , this longing is the thread that guides me back through the labyrinth of compromises i have made, back to my soul's desires. I was afraid of what those desires would ask of me.. the desire to come here has asked me to sell it all, leave family and friends, comfort and a good life behind me to pursue a dream that i was not sure when realised would be what i expected...

But i realised that if we are not consumed by the transforming fire of our desires, it becomes a day dream.. something we sit and say "one day.. i will".. and yet we never do.. So i take the risks that come with that.

And i must say - It was not and is not easy at all. Wisdom is often born in the shadows of pain and trouble.. and in this we need to be fully absorbed in order to have the WHOLE experience.

Now i stand on the brink of the experience itself ending and "reality" beginning... i ask myself - what now? is this where i want to make a life? do i now want to chase yet another experience or do i just prod along as i currently am??

Something to think about. And yet nothing to meditate on.. but to live everyday with gratitude, with thanksgiving that i have the opportunity to be here, the luxury to choose my life , my dreams and see them realise.

Concepts of beauty...

Embrace me, hold my soul
Echo through me
Take me by the hand
when i a bare
come
help me
climb outside myself
and see the world unlimited
speak unyielding
words creating
life....

Copyright: Jade

30 week update!!! Autumn..

Yeah can you believe i have been living in the USA now for almost 30 weeks?

I keep saying that time flies by - but this is ridiculous!!! LOL

Well i dont have much of an update since i spent the last 6 weeks travelling.. But i am so comfortable here and i feel at home yet still a little foreign (which is nice sometimes).. I now have the task of taking up my studies and finding a job of some sort. I have auch a passion and a love for the English lanuguage (no comments from the critics please!!!)... and i have decided that whatever i study in life will have to involve English.. so you will more of how that goes.

I have now well and truly eaten all the Cinnamon Pretzels i can stomach so i have out myself off it! I now need to search Amercia and find another amazing treat that i can stuff into my thighs!!! :-(

Summer is starting to come to an end although in North Carolina... it feel like it never ends.. its still in the high 80's (thats about 25 - 30 degrees celcius or someting), but thankfully the humidity has simmered down to being bearable. The sun sets early which is always a pity because i miss those long days....

I am not sure what Christmas will be like here - or where i will be but i look forward to it.. Oh Halloween is RELLLY big here - everywhere you go now is themed in preparation for that... stay tuned..

More next time... to the treadmill i go....

Just ME ME ME

My True Voice

I have always had this deep need to be able to express myself in truth and with the authentic voice that lives inside me.

It always seems that life comes at you hard and you lose your ability to speak with that voice.

I spent some time this weekend with a really good friend of mine in Virgnia Beach and i realised that when your heart is covered by those who love you.. your expression will always come out true.

The other night i had a dream that i was in London taking an overland train and i was very distracted and oblivious and confident that i knew which train to take.. i hopped on and sat down in my rush, put my bags down with a sigh of relief and then relaxed. As the train started moving i fell asleep for what felt like a short while and at the first station i woke up and i was in France!! I hit a panic, jumped off the train and in the midst of the busy crazy station decided to pick another one hoping that it would take me back on track.. But alas.. all the route maps were down and i kept on picking the wrong train and ending up further away from where i needed to be..

So this had me thinking... that sometimes in life when you go on a journey you really need to pay attention - be focussed no matter how matter of fact the circumstances maybe - because life as i have come to know it on my 31 years on this earth can be very unpredictable and if you live your days uncircumspectly.. you might just be thrown a major curve ball...

But having said that.. there are always ways and other trains that will take you back on course somehow.. and to me alot of the train directions are my very good friends whom i value and appreciate every day of my life. And the family who sustain me and who are so deeply rooted in me.

So... dont miss your train.. you could be derailed for a while! :-)