Twas the day after Christmas....

This year I had a wonderful, relaxing Christmas day. I woke up early and called all my family and friends in South Africa and around the world- It is always nice to speak to people on Christmas, everyone is so happy - the sun was shining in both Denver and South Africa (not the same temperature though!).

Had a good hour long laugh and talk with the various people who are a very close part of my heart.

I then went on a gift run, dropping off all my wrapped gifts. I decided to make a traditional South African meal which we enjoyed, chatted with wine and 80's (oh yes) music. And we also hopped over to see a movie.

My experience of the USA is so limited compared to the experience of growing up in South Africa, but what my life experience here lacks in breadth, I feel it makes up for in length - the heights to which my soul has soared and has joined together with this land. My life here is no less unsual than my life in South Africa, though so far from the same.

In South Africa, I lived a life of luxury, I lived in a prestige part of town in a gorgeous little house, I had everything, great job, security, a nice little nest in the world.

Here, I currently am in between living spaces, not sure from one day to the next where I will be or what my life will be. It is a strange feeling.

But I have come to realize something very important throughout my life:

"When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll...
whatever my lot..
thou has taught me to say...
it is well.. it is well with my soul..."

Peace is not a sense that everything is calm. It's a faith, a trust that through it all... all will be well..

Have a wonderful Christmas season.... what a joyous time to reflect and connect with yourself, your family and the things you believe in.

:-)

Wow December is coming to a close so quickly! Everyone in South Africa is starting to pack up their offices and take off for their summer holidays! And here at work, things have been the same crazy busy - But at the same time, people are also trying to wind down and bundle up for Christmas.

I have been on a weightloss mission. Before Singapore I lost quite a bit of weight due to stress and emotional strain. It was great (the weightloss, that is).. I have never really been skinny, but I know at which size / weight I feel most comfortable. Just before thanksgiving, I went on binges like it was going out of fashion! So now I am paying the price. But, weight gain teaches you that everything in life should be enjoyed in moderation (except LOVE!).

So, I have these exercise videos on cable and I have been sweating it out every night at home. Well, I plan to stick with it and reach my goals.. Christmas is on the way and for some inexplanable reason, one tends to fear the holidays will bring on some alternate universal force which force feeds you against your will! And ofcourse the Force always wins! but I recon, if I can continue to keep burning those calories and stay focussed, the eating should take care of itself, right?

And if all else fails, in the New Year, I will resolve to try Oprah's new 'Acai berry diet'!!

Anyway, my chatter-bug friend, Amy, has taken her long arduous flight to the land down under ( well not that far down under) - Home.. South Africa...

This time of year is wonderful in South Africa. There is an amazing atmostphere, everyone is in good spirits. Most people have gotten Christmas bonuses and are gearing up to head off to Cape Town or Jeffrey's Bay for a nice beach vacation. Throw on a bikini and be one of the hoards of ant-like people basking in the African sun. All the holiday braais at camp sites and bus loads of domestic workers going home to some faraway land to visit their families which they only get to see once a year.

The grass and trees are green.. if you are going on a Safari.. everything has babies! Its awesome.

Oh well.. I had my mini-escape from the cold of my present reality..... back to work!

It's 9am. Sunday Morning, December, 7th, 2008....

I woke up quite early this morning depsite a late night. A very relaxed, yet productive Saturday lies behind me. The weather has been amazing - the sun shining in all her glory granting us bareable temperatures.

I was just thinking back to my 3 years in the USA. And how as life evolves and as you change with your environment, you have to disengage from life for a moment and just appreciate the past and the present and have an excited hope for the future.

Yesterday, I went searching for a toy for an 8 year boy. I picked his name card off of our office "Salvation Army" Christmas tree and he is to have an airplane for Christmas... All the while walking in search of a nice gift, I started thinking about so many things..

My name has never been on a "Salvation Army" tree... I cannot say I have lived a life of the Rich and Famous, but I realized that I have actually never wanted for anything. I never really had to worry about security or financial survival.

I had to battle the lack of purpose, the dissatisfaction with mediocrity but never had to fight to purely survive. And I wondered about Jose.. and where he was and who he is... and I am glad that atleast this year he will have something for Christmas.

This world truly has gone crazy. I see how time has meshed into the other, how there is no longer a Time and a Season for everything, that in the age we live in you can have any time and any season that you desire. ... and It makes me sad.

This world fueled and driven by Capitlism and Materialism engulfed by marketing impulse, unappreciative of silence, incapable of waiting, and unable just to be. Life loses perspective; our concepts of past and future are impoverished, and we live exclusively in the moment and for external sastisfactions that are here today and gone tomorrow.

I am so glad that Christmas comes.. even if you are opposed to, indifferent to or highly into Christmas.. It's a time when we are reminded that giving is important. People are what matters and that we should appreciate the time we are given and celebrate it in it's fullnes in ways that matter.

"Your Tom-Tom"....

You know that navigational system some people have in their cars? How many times has it given you the most frustrating directions...

What navigates your decisions? Your feelings? Is your "internal Tom-Tom" a little off these days?

Have you been making wrong turn after wrong turn - delaying your arrivals and hindering your progress. That is even worse than going right back to the beginning of the journey to start all over again.

This year, I am raising my proverbial glass in thanks for the ability that I have to direct my own decisions. Not an easy thing when your life is directed by alot of variable and not in your control circumstances. A great man once said that some things you decide and some things you discover... I venture to add that there are some things that are just plain out of your control and THAT'S OK! That does not mean that you cannot still create and direct yourself into having a rich, full, liberated existence, filled with joy, contentment and discovery of yourself, relationships and the wonderful world you live in.

I am thankful that I can with the richness of my experiences and the support and love of wonderful family and great friends, achieve solidarity - financially,mentally and spiritually. Not only do I want solidarity, though.. I want my heart to hear music, my life to write poetry, my mind to paint on the canvas of the world all of me and all my passions. To seek and find, to be found, to stop searching a realm because I have reached the pinnacle of my pursuits and then start again.

Many things can engender disappointment.. But I refuse to allow disppointment to disable me in life.. disppointment, pain.. will come.. like floods..

And have.. but they came and went.

And as they come in the future, so shall they also go.. and here I am....

Thankful with a bursting heart for my life. Everyday... everyday. That is a decision no one else can direct for you.

Give thanks. In all things.

Thanksgiving in Phoenix

Wow my third thanksgiving blog.. this means I have been here in the USA for three whole years! What a ride! I remember blogging in week 3!

My first thanksgiving here was weird. Had no idea what a big holiday it was, so I was in Charlotte, NC oblivious to the fact and living in a hotel for 8 months, went out on Thanksgiving... went hungry since there was not ONE restaurant open! That sucked! LOL. Last year I was eating turkey and singing Karaoke at Shirley's house!!

This year I headed off to warmer places. Went to Phoenix, which is always a great place to viist. I ate too much Turkey (and other things), spent too much money, but I also did some great activities. I went to a car race (surprise surprise) - Went to great restaurants and night life actvities. They had the Zoo all lit up for Christmas with shows and music everywhere, it was spectacular. I also went Horseback riding.. That was so awesome. I had done it before in South Africa, but never in the desert.. The desert is so .. well deserted!! Its rugged and wild and raw and I love it. the smell of the plants, and on horseback our guide told us of all the medicinal remedies and secrets that can be found in the desert plants. It was great. Sunsets and dancing.

Nice long 4 day weekend.

And again a reminder of how thankful I am to be here.. to be fully present, fully feeling and fully alive ;-)

The Shopaholic’s Prayer

Our Prada, who art in Harrods
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Gucci watch, thy Louis bag
On Saks as it is in Paris
Gives us this day our daily brand
And Forgive us our debt
As we forgive those
Who know no name brands
And lead us not into Walmart
And deliver us from Target
For thine is the Fendi, the Dolce and Gabana
Forever and ever

Amex!

Nestled between the majestic, breath-taking mountains of Colorado, is this small, vibrant beautiful city of Denver. On Saturday I went to the Contemporary Art museum, had some wine and great food and then walked around Denver checking out the architecture and sights of my little "home town"...

Sunday I went to the Celestial seasonings plant where they make herbal teas from around the world. It was such a great tour and we got to drink and taste as much of their teas as we wanted - 104 varieties of tea to be exact... After that I went Indoor skydiving.. oh yes I did!!! It was a load of fun, I was nervous and afraid almost to the point of not wanting to participate - but once I got into that wind tunnel I was like a kid in a Candy store!! It was awesome!!

I only have a DVD - no pics.. I will find a way to post it on here :-)))) Its pretty funny.

I like to feel.....

The softness of a baby's cheeks

The sunshine on my face in the midst of a cold winters day

The elation when a good friend calls after a long time

The crunch of an Autumn leaf beneath my feet

The excitement of doing something for the first time

The awe of beholding an amazing sunset

The flutter of my heart at a song that brings back a good memory

The wind in my hair

The ocean sand in between my toes

I like to hear...

The giggle of little babies

The rain against the window

The silence and subtle creeks in an old church building in Europe

The sound of the voice of someone who brings my heart joy on the other end of a phone line

My mother's laughter

The sound of a song being played on a piano with no accompanying sounds

I like to taste...

The sweet first bite of a choclate covered strawberry

The first bite of a sour patch!

A Red full bodied wine, but one which disappears on the tongue leaving you wanting more

My mum's home cooked food!

I like to see...

The sun teasing the snow covered mountains with crimson beauty before she says goodnight

The smiling face of a loved one

The majesty and artistry of beautiful European architecture

My turtle dig for pebbles
The moonlight in a black empty sky

I like to experience....

A poetry reading in an Italian village alley

A formula one race anywhere in the world

My first awaking mood (which is usually a good one!)

A well thought out surprise bestowed on me

Helping someone

I like to be...

Inspired

Complimented

Acknowledged

Right!!!

Breathtaking.... taken from my window while admiring the beautifully decorated winter sky....

Work is prodding along nicely, even though I am still extremely busy and never have enough hours in the day, it is manageable and I don't go home with a headache, stiff neck and a pile of frustration..

Today we had a thanksgiving potluck at work, it was heaven, the Turkey and Ham and all the food looked and smelled divine. I had a small piece of turkey, because I am on a diet (again).. but I am determined to reach my goal so even the smell of mashed potatoes.. pumpkin pie...ham... hmm (I wonder if there is any leftover!! ha ha).. nope even that could not make me "cheat". Holidays or no holidays!

I am looking forward to flying out to Phoenix next week - most people have taken the whole week off to make the most of the 4-day weekend. I chose Phoenix, even though I go there SO Much.... it's just because it's warm and have alot of nice shops hahaha.

So tonight on Smallville it's DOOMSDAY - Can't wait!!! But before that I am going to brave the cold and join the HR and IT people for happy hour festivities...

Oh the joys!

Updates...

We had a day of snow.. that was kind of freaky, it was like a shock to the system to have sunny weather and then wake up one day and realize you haven't even packed out your snow boots yet!!! brrr. But after that one day the weather has gotten progressively warmer. Today for example it is in the high 60's!! I took an hour and a half lunch and walked ever so slowly and reluctantly back to the office and almost fell into a drain because I was warming up my face in the gorgeous sunshine (note to self.. open eyes when walking! LOL).

The weekend was alot of fun. I didn't make the IT happy hour on Friday, but I did go watch the new "James Bond" movie... Well.. I enjoyed it.. but I was disappointed that in the age we live in.. they didn't give 007 a Desert Eagle! I know that many will argue and say he has to wear a suit slash tux - how on earth will a DE fit into a suit.. I say - MAKE IT WORK!!!! It's NOT supposed to be realistic!!!!
So anyway... I now no longer have wheels to cruise around in, and even though I primarily walk everywhere, It was nice to be able to hop in the car and just go outside of LoDo.. So, Saturday I hopped onto the Lightrail which is the train system that runs through the city. It was a chilly but gorgeous day and I was actually excited at the novelty - I felt like a tourist!! :-)) - I went to Park meadows mall, did some (mild) shopping, and just wondered around. Afterwards, I went for a mani/Pedi and relaxed for the afternoon.


Saturday night we went to Jet - which is a small, very upscale club / lounge in a hotel. It was fun. The only reason I really go to clubs is because i LOVE (love love love) dancing.. I don't like the club scene persay, it is like a meat market. But, I have a strategy - I dress conservatively, never go with just a bunch of girls and I always dance with my guy friends, it keeps those preditors at bay. Saturday it was an exclusive party with some of my friends who used to be Broncos Cheerleaders - so you KNOW they can dance.. That was the best part - dancing with girls who are not there to shake their goods for men.. but to dance because they can and love it!! I danced so much, my old unfit muscles were aching!!


I only left when the "ugly lights" came on.. Oh - here in the States at 1:30am they switch on all the lights, bright as the sun - that indicates that it is time to leave - have you ever?? because at 2am they are not allowed to sell anymore alcohol in Colorado. But by then everyone's makeup is on their clothes, they are staggering around and you get to see what you were REALLY dancing with hahaha.


Sunday, I was up at 4am dealing with a situation over email and then I could'nt get back to bed. I got up, cleaned and at 9am went for breakfast and Corner Bakery and decided to go watch another movie. I started feeling tired and went home to veg for the rest of the day.

I removed all the pebbles from my turtle tank cause guts over there was eating the pebbles. Then he looked thoroughly bored and depressed so I put some back, I made sure it was only the ones he could NOT eat - like a little play pen.... he was happy again, but he was still giving me a semi-evil eye - NOT impressed!!


The weekend was awesome and it was even more awesome to get to work today to a clean, neat and organized cubicle, all my files done, my project wrapped up and ready to start catching up... ahh life is good again :-)))))) Smiles Smiles... :-)))))

Knowing when to let go.

You know, since I was little, I had a very hard time in letting go of things.. especially people. Whenever I connected with someone, I would be so loyal and hold onto that relationship even if it was to my own detriment.

Is anything more important in life than getting to know ourselves as a whole and as an essence of love and relationships? Each person needs to bring and embrace freshness and candor with each new relationship.

Over the past few years I have gained and lost quite a few good friends too. That was really hard. In every human heart we all feel the call to be simple, to be present, to be real, to be accepted and to express ourselves to others. And when we connect on the deepest of levels, our hearts find a sense of satisfaction.

Sometimes, I have lost those relationships because our lives were filled with useless battles. I have fought for things that now make no sense and not fought hard enough for the things that truly matter. Now, letting go should NOT become easy and it never is.. for something that is important to you. But you do need to learn how to let things go.

When it comes to people.. I hold on. I have the 5-rule.. Give a person 5 benefits of the doubt before you question their character. Might seem a little strange... but in my limited life experience.. when someone hurts you, betrays you, ignores you, disappoints you... give them the benefit of the doubt... allow their humanity to be portrayed.. 5 times before you make decisions about how they value you as a friend.. Seem a little extreme? Maybe..

And When you do walk away... walk away in peace and in sincerity.. No resentment.... regardless..

These lessons I learn even today... :)

The End of Seasons...

So - Autumn is coming to an end, Formula 1 has come to an end..

Sometimes, the end of seasons and things can leave you in sombre spirits... but there is always the hope of new beginings...

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

ecclesiastes 3:1-8I

Today I was walking to work in the chilly weather, what a beautiful morning! The workers are starting to put up the Christmas lights, and people are starting to feel the holiday vibes.

Yesterday the Events Commitee here at work (of which I am a part..... and you all said in unison "OFCOURSE YOU ARE!!! LOL) - met to plan our thanksgiving party at work. Being the social expert that I am, I enjoy being part of something fun at work. So that added a little excitement to my day.

I have been drowing myself in Financial crap (I know you are bored of hearing that already), but it gives me a little energy boost when I break from the monotony and do something fun.

On Monday I did an In-house training course to learn how to use our Publishing Software products. It was simple and easy to use and I had a big smile on my face, because now I can finally do something a little creative. Even though I am largely a process person even though I am enigmatic because I am right brained, yet my creativity eludes me! So one would think: Right brained = scatter brained (yep kinda) but at my job I am very neat and organized and at home I am more relaxed, but I love to come up with systematic process and management of things as opposed to create something amazing... But since I started learning how to use Quark Express - I started developing a little new project which I am going to post onto my blog shortly,

It's very exciting and I am bursting at the seams to share it with you... its funky and fun!!! heeheee So watch this space...

I got so excited, I forgot what I started saying.. oh well!!

The forgotten pictures from Connecticut! Here are some pics from the wedding I went to In Connecticut... :-)

Well, actually more accurately.. Holyoak Massechusettes.