Moving forward..means moving to begin with..


I am at the cross road of change once again in my life, and i realized, i don't like it! Sometimes, it takes me straight from the mountain of surety to the valley of uncertainty.


There on the edge of restful darkness, as the daily defenses of my mind crumble to relinquish its days' busyness, forbidden thoughts and sometimes unwanted feelings make a bid for consciousness, panic sometimes sets in as i peel through the layers of work i had not done, chores unfinished... once all the layers are gone in the nakedness of my thoughts... i start to think.. what if things don't work out ok for me?


Despite my efforts to increase my awareness of my own limitations, i still take on too many tasks, as if to fill the jar of my life with so much activity, that reality finds no place. Doesn't this sound strange, coming from me? The one who longs for realness? Who longs to live every moment of pain and passion of life...


Yes, there are times such as this when i am at a loss for answers to what lies ahead, is believing that things always turn out for good, enough to make it so?


Standing on the edge of my life... what will be??