Hopeless Romantic, Part II

Ok, so i finally got down to putting some thoughts together in order to retort to the inundation of email backlash i received from yous on the romance thing.. heehee

The "Romance Scrooge" is baaaack! :-P

Firstly: A question. Can Romance be created? Or is it purely a moment of intensity that two people feel in any circumstance?

Well, for me personally it is about the moments, but granted, the "things" can definitely help in creating the feelings, Flowers, cards anything that makes you feel special sets the stage for romance - but i view that as the gateway as opposed to the actual romance. If i get home and my partner has cooked me a flower petal dinner (i mean food and flowers not flowers for food!).. that would set the stage for a romantic evening, but to me that is not the romantic event... its just those little things that make your partner feel special and let them know that they are first on your list and that you are attracted to them, desire and love them.

Words can be romantic.. i find much passion and romance in poems.. here is an excerpt of one i find extremely sensual:

I want to touch the sharp taste

of the moment in between

the second just before

the place where the breath catches

in anticipation.

It's the scent of heat held in the air

between two mouths reaching for each other,

hungry.

The shine of moisture on slightly parted lips

just before it melts into each other...

To me romance is captured in passion and i believe passion comes from a depth of who you are, it is not some conjured event - yes - yes - yes ladies i AM on your side.. i too love receiving surprise flowers, gifts, massages and trips to Italy all that - but to me those are expressions and reminders of feelings - that does not make someone a romantic necessarily, that does not equal romance to me.

Dancing in the moonlight on a deserted shore, feeling the breeze of your skin touching each other.. laughing together on a ferris wheel remembering a private joke between you.. dropping everything you are doing, calling in sick just to spend some time in each others arms. Walking by someone having them run ther finger tips against yours. Those are all romantic 'acts" if you will.

To me - There is something romantic about death and darkness - i am not talking evil and ghosts! I am talking about mortality and gothic passion:

In a way similar to the gothic revivalists' rejection of the clarity and rationalism of the neoclassic styles and conventionalism, the term "gothic" became linked with an appreciation of the joys of extreme emotion, not joys as in HAHA giggle giggle, the deep groaning of the human soul for passion, the thrills of fearfulness and awe inherent in the sublime and a quest for atmosphere. It is like seeking and drawing out of the darkness, the forbidden passion.

This is brought forth many times in movies and novels.. I take an example of "The other Boleyn Girl".. A very passionate movie.. attraction brought on my innocence and beauty, yet a heart led astray by the dark intrigue. This does not mean that i am in favour of people being led astray from their partners in pursuit of "forbidden passion". I use the word forbidden, simply because there are chambers in the soul that people avoid because conventional society has said only "bad" people like 'dark things"...

Ok, now i am REALLY getting my ass in trouble!

Who cares.

The most famous parody of the Gothic is Jane Austin's novel " Northanger Abbey (1818) in which the naive protagonist, after reading too much Gothic fiction, conceives herself a heroine of a Radcliffian romance and imagines murder and villainy on every side, though the truth turns out to be somewhat more prosaic. It is not the idea of someone dying that i find romantic.. it is the idea that the consciousness of mortality brings to the forefront a presence of love and urgency and therefore one cannot wait for the perfect circumstance to catch the romance, it has to happen in whatever state you find yourself in..

I guess i just like the Era of innocence, hidden mysteries and intrigue, all this "in your face" sexuality and cheesy hearts and chocolates.. just doesn't appeal to me all that much. I think when something sacred is sprawled - over marketed & over commercialized, it loses its passion, its essence and its value. Take reality TV - for Example: "The Bachelor" - OH MY LORD!

A guy moves a bunch of women into a mansion for a few weeks and they all have to play their tricks, use their womanly wiles to get him to propose.. then it is called "love".. they create all these "romantic" settings so that they can "feel the moments".. oh PUKE.

And the world looks at that and wants that... easy love, easy money, easy romance - no effort required at all..

When i say "effort" i mean time, energy, attention and desire.. not dragging your tired self to grab the last bunch of dying flowers from the florist in the last thought before you head home, so your wife won't yell at you when you get home. And then when a woman receives those she thinks.. how sweet - because SHE has set that expectation that its "ok" and decides that will be a symbol of romance to do stuff like that!

Ok - that is my mouthful! let the emailing begin!! :-)

Thank you by the way - for your comments, emails and opinions, i enjoy it alot! :-))