Preparation for Romance:

You may be wondering what is up with me and all my posts on Romance - it's YOUR fault!! I post ONE little innocent post and all hell breaks loose!



Ok but this is kinda funny... i was reading an article in a magazine a while ago - the topic was "how to woo a woman":


This was their take:


"How to woo her, win her, keep her and make her feel like the sexiest, funniest, most respected, best cared for, greatest woman in the universe without losing your sanity, your solvency or your manhood in the process.. a romantic roadmap from women by women"

Hahaha

Ok, here is my little blurb - they wrote like 7 pages of "rules" - i have only a few on the topic - don't worry i am not ganging up on my guys out there - the ladies' turn come after my upcoming - highly anticipated post on Dr Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde.. so keep reading:


Sanity
Rule #1: Recognize that women like to be taken care of - even when they don't need to be.
Since we are talking to men - here are some examples to help them out : Hail cabs, fetch coats, open doors..


Rule #2: Don't get carried away: Being the guy who can't fix anything is one thing - being the guy who claims he will fix everything and never does.. romance killer!

Rule#3: Remember you are not the one we get manicures with - wanting to know all the ins and outs of feminine grooming, major no-no. Also, please hide your vast knowledge on homeopathic cures for cramps.

Rule #4: Women love surprises - surprise us now and again.. flowers, diamonds whatever.. no scary surprises, We don' like the "Oh, honey that's not actually aquafresh, its Valtrex" kinda surprise!


Solvency:
Rule #1: The only acceptable answer to shall we split the bill, is Absolutely NOT!

Rule#2: Don't get into financial debt buying us expensive crap we will never use or never like - just listen and learn, its the small things that matter.


All the rest:
Rule #1: It's so cheesy to pretend you don't see the hot girl in the room - women are not idiots, chances are we saw her way before you did anyway - She becomes alot less mysterious if you are in on it together.

Rule#2: Baby talk is never romantic. :-) goo goo

Rule#3: Please dont loudly snort and guffaw at the absurdity of some gut wrenchingly bad peice of entertainment before atleast knowing whether your woman likes that sort of behaviour!

Ok enough with the rules!! See ?? You can't slap down rules and romantic cliches into life - because if you wanna try that... there is a host of things you need to do before hand!


That my friend.. is the way of love.

And finally - what about Chivary in the 21st Century? of Xgen- DXgen whatever we are calling our generation these days!

There is the argument that opening a door for a woman is manipulative – a vacant expression used by to reel a girl in or curry favor in an unseemly way.

As if chivoulrous gestures lifted from a black and white TV show will blind women to a guy’s underlying hatred of women. To which I say. Oh PLEASE!

There are misogynists who pull out chairs and misogynists who don’t!

Opening a door is a small way of
1) being gentlemanly
2) protecting us from potentially hazardous handle germs
3) give us the chance to make an entrance


I, for one find myself a little ambivalent of male chivalry. I think it can be really sweet – but I guess for me its in HOW it is done.

Before i turn into online Oprah... THATS ALL.


TSK TSK - bring it!

Quote of the Day - Margaret Thatcher -

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."

SMACKDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is this assumption (which i will neither endorse nor reject) that i am one of those quiet, conservative ladies.. the theory is that such women who inhabit the echelon of unconventionalism and straight forward modesty have no deviating abilities.

I have often considered myself a hardworking, yet pampered and (even only in my own brain) occasionally fawned over for the lifestyle i live - conservative, never step sideways unless it is to drop kick someone!Some people have thought i maintain expectations so outlandishly high of myself that anyone who attempts to scale the heights required to meet them is destined for crushing failure and frustration (tongue in cheek ofcourse)...

ok but that is only the "theory" anyway...

So in reality - i think i am much more well balanced. Actually reading back up i make myself sound a little like Bree from Desperate Housewives.. and really - my hair is FAR from being that red!

So what has this got to do with the pictures below or the term: "Smackdown" well....

It was a cold, wet grey night.. the clouds hung heavily over the Denver sky. I walked briskly toward the Pepsi centre, heart racing with anticipation with each step..

Entering the arena as i had many times before to watch a concert or a sporting event.. but this night was different, it was packed - more than i had ever seen it. I had a good seat - no obstructions - the crowd was buzzing, so much excitement - everyone had banners and signs and black T-shirts.... Suddenly the lights come on, fireworks and pyrotechnics erupt like a wild volcano all over the place - there are warning signs of heavy flickering lights, lasers and sound!

The announcer who is almost wearing something trotts in the ring and that was the end of the Delise above described!

Although i had not watched Wrestling in such a long time, i found myself jumping up and down shouting HBK.. HBK... HBK... with the rest of the insanity- doing the DX signs with my forearms and shouting at the 400lbs men who have muscles on their muscles, bad actors, but great athletes jump from top ropes, clothes line each other and talk alot of - spicy punctuated - BS.... :-)

It was a wild night! i loved it!

Incidentally - the above description of Dr Jeckyll - might just be in my own mind.. i think after all my years of personality evolution, some would argue that i am now Mr Hyde more than anything else!!!

Speaking of Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde.... (Read post to come...)

WWE!!!!! hell YEAH!!!!

That's life

Isn't it funny how quickly your life can change? Since i started working last June, my life took a turn for the absolute better, i had been on a course of not knowing what the future holds for me and not really knowing exactly where i belonged. Then, i landed a fabulous job which i love and continue to learn and grow in, with a cool company where i have made some good friends....

Since January this year, my routine seemed set, i hung out in the usual places with the usual "gang" And now it all seems so different again..

This past week after Wisconsin, i have been doing so many new things, and hanging out with many different people. On Sunday after i landed i went to dinner at the Samba room, Tuesday night i went to a wine tasting at the Forte.

Wednesday we had a "happy hour" at work, Thursday i went to a colleagues' farewell party at the Horseshoe lounge, playing pool and having a good time with alot of work people i never get to socialize with. Friday i had lunch with a dear friend and all her pals whom i have not seen in months! It was great and then i went to an "All White" Party at 5 Degrees - they also had a fashion show going on, which was fun.

Saturday after a nice bike ride through Washington Park, I went to baseball game with the work gang and then to a pub for drinks. The night we went to dinner at Le Rouge , which is a really great french lounge, we hung out at Jet club and then went to a late night Burlesque comedy show in the Belle Tower that was really funny and something different.

Sunday i went shop hopping, a nice lazy day before hitting some burgers at Fado pub over by the Baseball stadium. Today is a MUCH NEEDED holiday and i plan to relax.. i have something else exciting planned for tonight... watch this space!!

Can Anyone say CHEEEESE?

Trip to Wisconsin

Last weekend we took a trip to Wisconsin. Known as the Cheese state. The flight was fairly easy 2 1/2 hours and i just slept all the way. We arrived in Milwaukee Airport at 8pm and got to see long lost South African family and American friends.

It was really nice, had dinner and caught up till late. I had the bed in the entertainment room of the Osby's mansion - this was cool because right by the bed was the 5000 inch TV and GT4 hooked up. Now most of you know that i am not a computer game fundi only because its addictive.. I dragged myself to bed at like 1am and then the ps3 called out my name.. i got to bed at 1am!

Up earlish for the graduation ceremony, greeted by the most awesome breakfast and chitter chatter of people all ready and done for the big day!

The graduation ceremony was unique, but not at all unfamiliar - it reminded me of the milliards of graduation ceremonies i organized and pulled my hair out over and ofcourse memories of my own graduation and how i felt when my name got called!

It was wonderful to see Lee-Anne graduate with Honors and celebrate her hard work with her - well done Lee-Anne!!

The afternoon was the grad party - we had tons of food, played some baseball and soccer in the yard and relaxed.

Sunday evening i arrived home - and guess what?? I didnt even see or eat any cheese! What a bust!

Going back in time a touch...

A few Saturdays ago i went to a "house party" at Shirley's - that was loads of fun - i met quite a few people and we talked and laughed and ate until we were about to explode. It started at 3pm and "ended" at 3am!

It was good times. The Sunday i was useless to do anything and so i slept and just took it easy! The weather has been great too. its warmed up nicely - been kicking it in short sleeve stuff - feels like Summertime - fun in the sun!

Now i need a vacation!

Hopeless Romantic, Part II

Ok, so i finally got down to putting some thoughts together in order to retort to the inundation of email backlash i received from yous on the romance thing.. heehee

The "Romance Scrooge" is baaaack! :-P

Firstly: A question. Can Romance be created? Or is it purely a moment of intensity that two people feel in any circumstance?

Well, for me personally it is about the moments, but granted, the "things" can definitely help in creating the feelings, Flowers, cards anything that makes you feel special sets the stage for romance - but i view that as the gateway as opposed to the actual romance. If i get home and my partner has cooked me a flower petal dinner (i mean food and flowers not flowers for food!).. that would set the stage for a romantic evening, but to me that is not the romantic event... its just those little things that make your partner feel special and let them know that they are first on your list and that you are attracted to them, desire and love them.

Words can be romantic.. i find much passion and romance in poems.. here is an excerpt of one i find extremely sensual:

I want to touch the sharp taste

of the moment in between

the second just before

the place where the breath catches

in anticipation.

It's the scent of heat held in the air

between two mouths reaching for each other,

hungry.

The shine of moisture on slightly parted lips

just before it melts into each other...

To me romance is captured in passion and i believe passion comes from a depth of who you are, it is not some conjured event - yes - yes - yes ladies i AM on your side.. i too love receiving surprise flowers, gifts, massages and trips to Italy all that - but to me those are expressions and reminders of feelings - that does not make someone a romantic necessarily, that does not equal romance to me.

Dancing in the moonlight on a deserted shore, feeling the breeze of your skin touching each other.. laughing together on a ferris wheel remembering a private joke between you.. dropping everything you are doing, calling in sick just to spend some time in each others arms. Walking by someone having them run ther finger tips against yours. Those are all romantic 'acts" if you will.

To me - There is something romantic about death and darkness - i am not talking evil and ghosts! I am talking about mortality and gothic passion:

In a way similar to the gothic revivalists' rejection of the clarity and rationalism of the neoclassic styles and conventionalism, the term "gothic" became linked with an appreciation of the joys of extreme emotion, not joys as in HAHA giggle giggle, the deep groaning of the human soul for passion, the thrills of fearfulness and awe inherent in the sublime and a quest for atmosphere. It is like seeking and drawing out of the darkness, the forbidden passion.

This is brought forth many times in movies and novels.. I take an example of "The other Boleyn Girl".. A very passionate movie.. attraction brought on my innocence and beauty, yet a heart led astray by the dark intrigue. This does not mean that i am in favour of people being led astray from their partners in pursuit of "forbidden passion". I use the word forbidden, simply because there are chambers in the soul that people avoid because conventional society has said only "bad" people like 'dark things"...

Ok, now i am REALLY getting my ass in trouble!

Who cares.

The most famous parody of the Gothic is Jane Austin's novel " Northanger Abbey (1818) in which the naive protagonist, after reading too much Gothic fiction, conceives herself a heroine of a Radcliffian romance and imagines murder and villainy on every side, though the truth turns out to be somewhat more prosaic. It is not the idea of someone dying that i find romantic.. it is the idea that the consciousness of mortality brings to the forefront a presence of love and urgency and therefore one cannot wait for the perfect circumstance to catch the romance, it has to happen in whatever state you find yourself in..

I guess i just like the Era of innocence, hidden mysteries and intrigue, all this "in your face" sexuality and cheesy hearts and chocolates.. just doesn't appeal to me all that much. I think when something sacred is sprawled - over marketed & over commercialized, it loses its passion, its essence and its value. Take reality TV - for Example: "The Bachelor" - OH MY LORD!

A guy moves a bunch of women into a mansion for a few weeks and they all have to play their tricks, use their womanly wiles to get him to propose.. then it is called "love".. they create all these "romantic" settings so that they can "feel the moments".. oh PUKE.

And the world looks at that and wants that... easy love, easy money, easy romance - no effort required at all..

When i say "effort" i mean time, energy, attention and desire.. not dragging your tired self to grab the last bunch of dying flowers from the florist in the last thought before you head home, so your wife won't yell at you when you get home. And then when a woman receives those she thinks.. how sweet - because SHE has set that expectation that its "ok" and decides that will be a symbol of romance to do stuff like that!

Ok - that is my mouthful! let the emailing begin!! :-)

Thank you by the way - for your comments, emails and opinions, i enjoy it alot! :-))

A Dream within a Dream

Take this kiss upon thy brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow—

You are not wrong, to deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand—How few!

yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep—while I weep!O God!

can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

Edgar Allen Poe

"Im a man without conviction

Im a man who doesnt know

How to sell a contradiction"

Does anyone remember this song? It was titled "Karma Chameleon" - it had a very catchy tune, it played on the radio yesterday while i was on my way home and suddenly the words flew from my ears into my mind and i needed to get the lyrics and read them again....

When i was young(er), i was very shy and always took the path of no confrontation and least amount of conflict.. those days are since long gone. I now can not be accused of being a (wo)man without conviction nor have i an inability to sell contradiction...

If they write a book about my life.. i wonder what section of the library it will be found in.. "horror'? or "comedy"? think a little of both plus lots of contradiction and loads of "drama". Haha

Ok now i need to clarify: I think beneath the exterior of my personality there are always little paradoxes, things the mind cannot easily reconcile. I have firm convictions about very many things, i don't consider myself to be contradictory to those convictions. When i speak of Contradiction, i mean i have relentless passion and faith and display those in my daily pursuits.

The contradiction comes in my deep longing for personal freedom and independence, yet tireless commitment to others. Also, when presented with many opinions and views, i non-apologetically cannot just accept many things, i always have to voice my opinion and ask for reasons and explanations.

Can one be intimate and long for solitude at the same time?

I don't want my life to be a 'declaration of intent"! I want it to traverse my life and leave behind meaning and action. I don't want to ever get caught saying "i wanted to do this and that".. and it just never gets done! Nothing metaphorical! Well, i think in some cases when i say i want to live skin to skin with my surroundings.. THAT is metaphorical.. cause in reality that would just be nasty! So, you get what i mean....

It doesnt mean that i want to work tirelessly and wear myself out in trying accomplishing everything under the sun, or have so much variety of experience that i can hardly remember them all.. it means that i am to breathe in my whole life.. savour all of it. have the peace and enjoyment that contradicts the mediocrity that disables you because of circumstance or something..

Although "Karma Chameleon" is really a song about a lover who strings people along and who when she clings the love is strong and when she leaves.. she is gone for ever.. the title suggests to me that although in Life you get back what you give.. its like a Chameleon, it does not come in the same colour, in the same way..

That is the contradiction of life....

WEEKEND FUN

The Bar > The bad weather > The United Nations Party > The Great Weather > The park > The food > The End of the Weekend...


This weekend was super fun.

FRIDAY NIGHT: We went to a bar / lounge called "Theorie Martini bar", close to Coors field. It was nice, very mellow.. fun people watching because it seemed like all the freaks were out. It started to rain as we walked to look for the new Hidden club somewhere on Larimer Square, alas it was nowhere to be found so around 1am we headed home.

SATURDAY: Woke up earlish and still missed the Turkey qualifying but managed to get some chores done. Went out to breakfast and planned to hit the go-kart track but it started to rain.. then snow... then sunshine.. then windy.. argh - it was awful, so we decided to hit the mall for a bit, and then went home for a good old nap. At 5pm we headed off to Shirley's house where we had a 6 hour (European Style) dinner which we fondly call the "United Nations' dinner" because everyone there was from a different country. We had great food, great conversation. It was fun.

SUNDAY: I hauled myself out of bed at 5:30am to watch the race which was awesome. And Ferrari is doing so well! I am very chuffed. I then went to breakfast (yes, eating again). And we decided to have a nice little relaxing picnic, people watch, snooze in Washington Park for the afternoon, because in true Denver Style - the weather, unlike Saturday, was awesome. After hopping over to Cherry Creek for some groceries, we headed home and that was that. I ended my weekend by watching the Finale of "Brother's and Sisters" which was far too gay for me - but it was all good..

Great weekend.. needed another day.. but what the heck! Another one is on it's way!

xxx

Another week gone..

This week has been really good, busy as always, but i accomplished so much, and i am starting to be able to breathe at work again (for now)..

When Friday came around, i didnt feel off my head exhausted, it was nice to roll into a weekend already feeling wound down..

I have a few cool things planned this weekend and next weekend i will be away - whoo hoo vacation (kinda)...

So watch this space for updates...

Here are pics of where is spend about 40 hours of my week...

Summer slowly approaching.. this is Downtown denver....

The Pain.. of Vain...

Ok, we all know how much i love cute shoes. My general style consists of strappy, pointy 4inch stilettoes (that is the same length as big turtle!).. Anyway, These look great and to me are very comfortable as i have walked in them for years with no hassles.

However, we all know the rules state that one should not wear the same pair of shoes 2 days in a row, cause while these shoes are "comfy" to wear, maybe not condusive to walking 6 blocks to work and 6 blocks (sometimes more when i dont take the free mall shuttle) home and running around the office like the duracell bunny!

Everyone keeps telling me, because i walk so much, to wear sneakers or kitten flats to work and then just change when i get there and same going home.. GE! As if! i am WAAAAY to vain to do that. Please. Who the heck wears tekkies with a skirt or a business suit??

Then 2 days ago i wore - not even a stilleto, but a kitten heel kinda cute, very comfy for the most part just pressed against my toe cleavage slightly... and then yesterday.. i did it! I wore them again in my haste to get out the door! At the end of the day my feet were dead.

I woke up this morning and decided to wear a black pinstriped suit because we had an all Employee meeting, i wanted to look snazzy. At 4am i got emails buzzing my phone into a coma from our London office, which i ignored, when i woke up i found that i had to be in the office early. So, i made a dash for it.. because i wanted to wear my red Guess shoes, i KNEW - there was NO way i would be able to mince in those.

So .... i thru on the sneaks.. oh yes, i did! and TJ'ed like speedy to the office, red shoes in a bag. on the mall shuttle, i could feel all eyes on me, mouthes agape in horrification. (probably only in my head!)

I got to work bruised ego, feet in tact, but when i wanted to put the red sexys on.. they hurt - alas, my feet were taking revenge!! they TOTALLY rejected the shoes like a bad kidney!

Argh. So i forced them to behave for the meeting..

but here i sit... red shoes.. NOT On my feet - at my desk, where i will stay for the rest of the day (nothwithstanding the meetings i need to go to frequently in between) because i am TOO vain to walk around the office in them.

But ahhhhh it feels good! :-)

119 Week update:

I have now been in the United States of America for 119 weeks, and even though i am sure an update is not really needed, since my blog speaks of every breath that i have taken since i landed here!

"Mind is the master power that moulds and makes, and man is mind and evermore he takes, the tool of thought and shaping what he wills, brings forth a thousand joys - a thousand ills. He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass: Environment is but his looking glass" James Allen...

So on that note.. i believe that i must have the hugest, most active looking glass because my mind never stops!

Kinda cool: It is the coolest thing in the world that you can find just about anything at the pharmacy, from false nails to milk and DVD's.

Kinda disturbing: It is a little disturbing to see ready-to-eat meals in Office depot! (Which is like CNA!)

Kinda Cool: When Americans fondly think i am Australian because of my accent.

Kinda Disturbing: When British people living in the USA think i am Australian and call my accent a twang!

Kinda cool: That fast food places are introducing "slimmers" and "healthy" food claims.

Kinda disturbing: When competing fast food places have ads like: "ours is ALL beef, not like the other guys"?? WTF??

Kinda cool: When you buy medication and even ads on TV, they give you all the warnings and the risks upfront before you buy it.

Kinda disturbing: When they tell you that nausea pills (used to stop your nausea).. one of the side effects and warnings could be nausea and vomiting.. what? how does THAT work?

Kinda Cool: You can get coffee / tea in almost every corner, no matter where in the US you are.Kinda Disturbing: When you ask for coffee with cream you look like a dork because everyone is ordering a double, no foam, Venti whipped half caramel extra milk, soya grande coffee machiato. (that is ONE drink by the way!)
Anyway, I have had a bad time as we all know, and i have had a great time. Speaking of time...
I am constantly amazed by the human psyche.. the passing of time seems to really affect things. I have often wondered if God invented time and memory for the purposes of looking back and reminscing how good your life has been and yet and the same time, looking back at the pain and knowing that it doesnt last forever.
I was reading the book :"As a man thinketh" by James Allen and it was interesting how he says: "A man is made and unmade by his thoughts". Sometimes i wonder if someone faces pain but does nothing actively to get past it, will time alone and the distance that time creates in the experience and the memories bring the healing.. maybe not growth.. but certainly forgetting is one way of getting past pain..
However, should one actively turn your mind to things that will cause the health and growth of your mind and psychological well being? I'd say so.. i think when people let time simply wash over the active memory of an event, they become less prooductive in life, society and relationships.. sure you can "function"..

Who desires and dreams of functioning??? I want to live, right?

Anyway, i write that to say that i look back on my experience in South Africa, look back fondly and i very much miss people dissing me because i am from Eldo's, but went to school in Bostmont, but ended up living in Sandton... and i miss Sam and our after work mango smoothies and Maddy who has a more hectic social life than all of us combined!

I miss Gavin and his ridiculously accurate and vast knowledge of cosmetics and gothic weirdness, i miss Ingrid and her laughter that resonates and echos into the ends of the earth and the millions of people who always follow her like groupies!, I miss my mum who comes to the gate to greet me when she hears the ridiculously loud exhaust of the VR6 pull up to her house - and i wont park in the driveway even at the risk of having my car solen by Zunga and his friends who are sitting on the sidewalk drinking beer at 10am, suspiciously eyeing my "ntza car" and all the little kids who run up to me and ask me to open the bonnet so they can see the engine.. and while that is happening, i step out in my heels and 'Sandton" outfit and then i have to run away from Aunt Gypsy's stupid big brown dog who thinks i am a piece of steak.. then mum is at the gate smiling.. I miss walking through Sandton City and then meeting Dave at Mugg and Bean and having a chat and a laugh with him while his cellphone never stops ringing and buzzing (oh, i miss the Friday night oxtail potjies at Dave's too!)

Ok, i am on a roll now..

I miss Pastor Mark and his deep belly laugh and ability to cheer people up no matter where he is. I miss "Celebration" and being mistaken for being on the "Bold and the Beautiful" because people mis-heard one of the celebs talk about me in the same sentence as the Bold and the Beautiful! I miss Glassen and her 550 pairs of shoes and 6000 earrings and her every saturday nail days and her outfits that cost more than my house!
I miss my dad with his Sunday morning coffee in hand wanting to have philosophical conversations or play chess. And his inability to get rid of ANYTHING! He stores things up like there is no tomorrow! :-)
I miss Florida lake. no, wait.. i DON'T! LOL - I miss going to church 5 times on a Sunday!!! (really?)
I miss driving to Sun City 5 times a week - and not to go lay in the Sunshine, but to go sit in a little back alley office in the scorching heat in my InnStaff get up and make sure the people who ARE laying in the sunshine in their g-strings have the service they deserve (for the money they pay to be there).
I miss Jolene and her fast pace life - when you are around her, it feels as if there is 5 of her and they are all working, talking and walking at the same time! hahaha I miss Shantal and our talks about Krishna, our haloumi salads at newscafe and our weight gain / weighloss strategies - ok the weight gain was never a strategy!!
There are so many people i miss for so many different reasons and so many things that made my life awesome. Marlene and little Hopey who is just so happy in her cute little self! Nadia and her beautiful blues eyes that never stop shining, her incredible intelligence and fun we have together.
I miss Buddy and his classy trendy houses, cars, outfits, our breakfasts all at the joosh places where he knows everyone and everyone knows him, the spirituality that he exudes.
I miss my 49 cousins and all their children and going to a function that we have to hire a hall to accommodate all of us (and that is only my mum's side!)
So those are a very few examples of the life i left behind in coming here.. even though i will never really leave it behind- but i am extracted from it and their lives progress there and mine here..
However, after these 119 weeks, i have made some really good friends.. forged a great life for myself - have a good job and starting to build my own little history and when i am no longer living here... i will be writing a blog about all the things i miss about this life in the USA .. and who knows when that will be?
phew!! - this was a mouthful blog! teehee