Twas the day after Christmas....

This year I had a wonderful, relaxing Christmas day. I woke up early and called all my family and friends in South Africa and around the world- It is always nice to speak to people on Christmas, everyone is so happy - the sun was shining in both Denver and South Africa (not the same temperature though!).

Had a good hour long laugh and talk with the various people who are a very close part of my heart.

I then went on a gift run, dropping off all my wrapped gifts. I decided to make a traditional South African meal which we enjoyed, chatted with wine and 80's (oh yes) music. And we also hopped over to see a movie.

My experience of the USA is so limited compared to the experience of growing up in South Africa, but what my life experience here lacks in breadth, I feel it makes up for in length - the heights to which my soul has soared and has joined together with this land. My life here is no less unsual than my life in South Africa, though so far from the same.

In South Africa, I lived a life of luxury, I lived in a prestige part of town in a gorgeous little house, I had everything, great job, security, a nice little nest in the world.

Here, I currently am in between living spaces, not sure from one day to the next where I will be or what my life will be. It is a strange feeling.

But I have come to realize something very important throughout my life:

"When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll...
whatever my lot..
thou has taught me to say...
it is well.. it is well with my soul..."

Peace is not a sense that everything is calm. It's a faith, a trust that through it all... all will be well..

Have a wonderful Christmas season.... what a joyous time to reflect and connect with yourself, your family and the things you believe in.

:-)

Wow December is coming to a close so quickly! Everyone in South Africa is starting to pack up their offices and take off for their summer holidays! And here at work, things have been the same crazy busy - But at the same time, people are also trying to wind down and bundle up for Christmas.

I have been on a weightloss mission. Before Singapore I lost quite a bit of weight due to stress and emotional strain. It was great (the weightloss, that is).. I have never really been skinny, but I know at which size / weight I feel most comfortable. Just before thanksgiving, I went on binges like it was going out of fashion! So now I am paying the price. But, weight gain teaches you that everything in life should be enjoyed in moderation (except LOVE!).

So, I have these exercise videos on cable and I have been sweating it out every night at home. Well, I plan to stick with it and reach my goals.. Christmas is on the way and for some inexplanable reason, one tends to fear the holidays will bring on some alternate universal force which force feeds you against your will! And ofcourse the Force always wins! but I recon, if I can continue to keep burning those calories and stay focussed, the eating should take care of itself, right?

And if all else fails, in the New Year, I will resolve to try Oprah's new 'Acai berry diet'!!

Anyway, my chatter-bug friend, Amy, has taken her long arduous flight to the land down under ( well not that far down under) - Home.. South Africa...

This time of year is wonderful in South Africa. There is an amazing atmostphere, everyone is in good spirits. Most people have gotten Christmas bonuses and are gearing up to head off to Cape Town or Jeffrey's Bay for a nice beach vacation. Throw on a bikini and be one of the hoards of ant-like people basking in the African sun. All the holiday braais at camp sites and bus loads of domestic workers going home to some faraway land to visit their families which they only get to see once a year.

The grass and trees are green.. if you are going on a Safari.. everything has babies! Its awesome.

Oh well.. I had my mini-escape from the cold of my present reality..... back to work!

It's 9am. Sunday Morning, December, 7th, 2008....

I woke up quite early this morning depsite a late night. A very relaxed, yet productive Saturday lies behind me. The weather has been amazing - the sun shining in all her glory granting us bareable temperatures.

I was just thinking back to my 3 years in the USA. And how as life evolves and as you change with your environment, you have to disengage from life for a moment and just appreciate the past and the present and have an excited hope for the future.

Yesterday, I went searching for a toy for an 8 year boy. I picked his name card off of our office "Salvation Army" Christmas tree and he is to have an airplane for Christmas... All the while walking in search of a nice gift, I started thinking about so many things..

My name has never been on a "Salvation Army" tree... I cannot say I have lived a life of the Rich and Famous, but I realized that I have actually never wanted for anything. I never really had to worry about security or financial survival.

I had to battle the lack of purpose, the dissatisfaction with mediocrity but never had to fight to purely survive. And I wondered about Jose.. and where he was and who he is... and I am glad that atleast this year he will have something for Christmas.

This world truly has gone crazy. I see how time has meshed into the other, how there is no longer a Time and a Season for everything, that in the age we live in you can have any time and any season that you desire. ... and It makes me sad.

This world fueled and driven by Capitlism and Materialism engulfed by marketing impulse, unappreciative of silence, incapable of waiting, and unable just to be. Life loses perspective; our concepts of past and future are impoverished, and we live exclusively in the moment and for external sastisfactions that are here today and gone tomorrow.

I am so glad that Christmas comes.. even if you are opposed to, indifferent to or highly into Christmas.. It's a time when we are reminded that giving is important. People are what matters and that we should appreciate the time we are given and celebrate it in it's fullnes in ways that matter.

"Your Tom-Tom"....

You know that navigational system some people have in their cars? How many times has it given you the most frustrating directions...

What navigates your decisions? Your feelings? Is your "internal Tom-Tom" a little off these days?

Have you been making wrong turn after wrong turn - delaying your arrivals and hindering your progress. That is even worse than going right back to the beginning of the journey to start all over again.

This year, I am raising my proverbial glass in thanks for the ability that I have to direct my own decisions. Not an easy thing when your life is directed by alot of variable and not in your control circumstances. A great man once said that some things you decide and some things you discover... I venture to add that there are some things that are just plain out of your control and THAT'S OK! That does not mean that you cannot still create and direct yourself into having a rich, full, liberated existence, filled with joy, contentment and discovery of yourself, relationships and the wonderful world you live in.

I am thankful that I can with the richness of my experiences and the support and love of wonderful family and great friends, achieve solidarity - financially,mentally and spiritually. Not only do I want solidarity, though.. I want my heart to hear music, my life to write poetry, my mind to paint on the canvas of the world all of me and all my passions. To seek and find, to be found, to stop searching a realm because I have reached the pinnacle of my pursuits and then start again.

Many things can engender disappointment.. But I refuse to allow disppointment to disable me in life.. disppointment, pain.. will come.. like floods..

And have.. but they came and went.

And as they come in the future, so shall they also go.. and here I am....

Thankful with a bursting heart for my life. Everyday... everyday. That is a decision no one else can direct for you.

Give thanks. In all things.

Thanksgiving in Phoenix

Wow my third thanksgiving blog.. this means I have been here in the USA for three whole years! What a ride! I remember blogging in week 3!

My first thanksgiving here was weird. Had no idea what a big holiday it was, so I was in Charlotte, NC oblivious to the fact and living in a hotel for 8 months, went out on Thanksgiving... went hungry since there was not ONE restaurant open! That sucked! LOL. Last year I was eating turkey and singing Karaoke at Shirley's house!!

This year I headed off to warmer places. Went to Phoenix, which is always a great place to viist. I ate too much Turkey (and other things), spent too much money, but I also did some great activities. I went to a car race (surprise surprise) - Went to great restaurants and night life actvities. They had the Zoo all lit up for Christmas with shows and music everywhere, it was spectacular. I also went Horseback riding.. That was so awesome. I had done it before in South Africa, but never in the desert.. The desert is so .. well deserted!! Its rugged and wild and raw and I love it. the smell of the plants, and on horseback our guide told us of all the medicinal remedies and secrets that can be found in the desert plants. It was great. Sunsets and dancing.

Nice long 4 day weekend.

And again a reminder of how thankful I am to be here.. to be fully present, fully feeling and fully alive ;-)

The Shopaholic’s Prayer

Our Prada, who art in Harrods
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Gucci watch, thy Louis bag
On Saks as it is in Paris
Gives us this day our daily brand
And Forgive us our debt
As we forgive those
Who know no name brands
And lead us not into Walmart
And deliver us from Target
For thine is the Fendi, the Dolce and Gabana
Forever and ever

Amex!