I had such a lovely weekend. On Friday night, I went out to dinner and then to watch a ballet production called: "Momentum" in a small industrial theatre in Boulder. It was really nice. There was also a (weird) art exhibit at the same time. It was so nice, because unexpectedly after dinner it started to snow.. It's so nice to have the white flakes cover my hair and touch my face, the softness and the unexpected heat that comes with it - that is the weird thing about snow here in Colo. The temperature will drop dramatically, then it will start to snow and it will be so nice and warm.

On Saturday - I hit the shops in search of the "perfect - knock-em-dead-give-a-kickass-speech-while-you-look- awesome" dress - for my brothers' wedding in March - no Success!

I went home and ate chocolate and played with the turtle and had a nap. The evening, I went out with my girlie friends, we had wine and cheese and chatted and then hit the concert scene. We went to the Ogden. The music was Madigras themed jazz and it was great. The only off-putting thing was people smoking pot around me and grabbing my ass which I was not impressed with at all. Other than that, the girls and I had a boat load of fun.

I slept in a little on Sunday and then went to brunch with a friend. While waiting for the Oscars to begin, I got a bee in my bonnet and started moving funirture around - I seriously wanted to fit a full bed into my studio and I knew I had the space, it was just "HOW??" - I called in some boy help and moved things around to every conceivable corner until I struck gold!

After the arrangement I started to envision all the stunning decor I could add- I hopped in the car at 7pm - forgot about the Oscars and went to the stores to look for odds and sods! I bought some really stunning accessories and had my bed put in while Penelope Cruz was making her acceptance speech!

By the end of the Oscars - I was drinking a glass of wine and watching the Best Actor awards in my newly decorated, bed in place and ready for me to just fall into it - everything perfectly aligned looking HOT! I am soooooo happy....

Place of belonging...

You know, I have never really had the need to "belong". I have never been the one that ill-fortune pursued, even though I have had my fair share of heartache and failure.. and at the same time, I have never bitten my nails at destiny - because I have a security in my heart that I am headed for good things.

My life has always been simple and liquid as it were. Not a stranger to fortune, but also not overtaken by materialism. I have never wanted the grandest of things that would cement me to a particular place. I moved around quite a bit. Travel was my vice (and still is) and I relish in living in a foreign country and experiencing the world. Being one with it and its variety.

My good friend who is currently having an internal war with belonging, made me ask myself today: "Do I have a sense of belonging?" And my answer was yeah - I belong to God, to this world and it's people. to an indestructable Kingdom, to a heart that is full of love and compassion and to myself, my friends and family and it doesn't matter where I reside, I belong where I am... where my heart is full.

A few useless facts about the princess (that’s me ofcourse!)…

Well, I was born into and raised by an Afrikaans family. Both my parents’ first language is Afrikaans and this is the case with all my cousins. Interestingly enough my father decided it would benefit us more if we were placed into an English school and do our subjects in English instead of Afrikaans.

Since there were no decent schools in the ghetto I grew up in – I had to take a 45 – 60 min bus ride to the “other side” of town everyday where I went to school. It was a predominately Muslim, very conservative community and school. Every Friday I was allowed to leave early because the boys had to go to the mosques to pray at midday..

Anyway - Back to the point. At home I decided to speak English to my parents as opposed to Afrikaans. My school was also very politically active trying to fight against apartheid and I realized that the Dutch settlers who were in office at the time were the ones who enforced this stupid apartheid regime on us and caused me to have such crazy and insane ideas about life, were the ones forcing us too, to speak Afrikaans, I decided to rebel against the language. So, I would not speak Afrikaans to my family - I told them that I did not know how to speak Afrikaans..

Two years after I graduated from high school and apartheid had just come to an end, I decided it was actually kind of nice to be able to speak a Second language, also many of my very best friends spoke Afrikaans. I started learning a bit more and falling in love with a lot of what the language expressed.
Being here in America, it’s very convenient to be able to speak it in order to express my frustrations at people who still smile at me hahaha. No seriously, it’s just nice because I now have the ability to pick up other languages a little easier because my brain is attuned to grasping concepts other than English.

I decided to try something a little challenging….. Writing my first Afrikaans poem. Now folks and friends in SA – DON’T LAUGH!!

Here goes:

Uit die diepste van my siel
Staan ek weer op die verhoog van my lewe
Stilte
Ek is verras
In die skaduwee van my verlange
Voel ek gin ontbreek nie
In jou hart hou jy my vas
In my drome
Stilte
Dis ek
Nooit alleen nie.

Ok gees.. i will translate:

From the depths of my soul

I stand again on the stage of my own life

silence

I am surprised (or amazed)

In the shadow of my longing

I feel nothing is lacking

In your hand you hold me tight(ly)

in my dreams

silence

never alone

See translated it sounds like crap! :-)

There are so many places in the USA that I love and some that I am yet to travel to... Here are some pictures of Phoenix and Denver (again lol). A few places on my list for this year are New Orleans, Dallas - Texas. I want to go to Tampa -Florida, New Mexico, Seattle - Washington.. There are many more, but I AM on a budget here you know!

I still plan on going to Barcelona if people in South Africa don't keep getting married and then I have to fly home all the time!! :-)

LOVE YOU GUYS!!

So, I went out of town this weekend. It is always nice to get away. Although, I must be honest, I am getting less and less of a tolerance for air travel. Seriously, it gets worse everytime. But, if I am to continue my jetsetting ways, I have to live with that.

Coming home to Denver, is always nice, yet the weekend seems swallowed up and time speeded up and I find myself back to the regular again.

I read my good friend Amy's blog and it really made me reflect once again on my own life.. my own routine, the dreams I set aside to do what I have to in order to get to a place where I can do what I want to...

To marry meaning and matter, necessity and desire.

At times I find such satisfaction and purpose in my life, my job, my history.. when I look back at what I have accomplished and achieved.. and it is so vast.. but then I stand and ask myself.. what now?

I mean really, there is NO such thing at the age of 33 - to say - I have lived all of my dreams and I have nothing more to desire or dream about - right?

I read Amy and her ache for simplicity, her yearning for a life of touching the world and it touching her without technology, money and materialism standng in the way... the joy and sorrow of struggle and ease... And I think - WHY can't she have all that she wants? It seems like a cruel fate to be given dreams that seem so unattainable.

I love my life. I truly do. And yet, I too, want more.. Infact - as I constantly say: "I want it ALL"... and I want it now.. (Isn't that a song!)