Assassinating the Piano Man...

Last night, I lay in bed just about to doze off. I have my bose earphones in my ears, the room dark and warm. My silken, red bed covers enveloping my very relaxed body. With a content smile, I close my eyes and put an end to my day as the tune begins.

Humming to its familiarity, waiting for my mind to drift off into dreamland with the contagious tune playing... All of a sudden, I am wide awake. My contentment coming to a screeching holt - WAIT A MINUTE!!!!

Right - Let me begin again.. I know that Amy will say that I am a "romance-scrooge".. but really, I DO believe in romance and passion. I believe in the gut-wrenching, heart-throbbing, breath extracting, pain in the chest, smile on the face for no apparent reason, melting heart, wobbly knees, stars in the eyes kinda love.. I do..

But, I also live my life with consciousness.. sometimes, it is a curse, because nothing escapes me - especially cliches.

So, here I am listening the very beautiful and dubbed possibly one of the most romantic songs out there and think WHAT??? Are you KIDDINGGG????

here is why:

THE ANALYSIS:

Don't go changing,

to try and please me

You never let me down before

So this is a good start. The guy is saying: "Baby, don't fake it just for me, I am attacted to you because of YOU, so I like that you want to do things for me, but don't change what I fell in love with because you think it might impress me, because you have never let me down.. GREAT!

Solid, powerful start to a romantic song.

Don't imagine you're too familiar

And I don't see you anymore

Nice touch - after a while (some) men stop seeing their women, stop adoring and admiring.. so, bonus for him, he still sees her and she is not too familiar for him to still admire, adore and be an attraction for him.

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far

I took the good times, I'll take the bad times

I'll take you just the way you are

And to me this is where the romance of the song ends.. the paragraph above is not bad at all - "good times, bad times I'll take it baby - me - you together". Fab! A man you can rely on to never leave -but, then it starts to go downhill from here..

Don't go trying some new fashion

Don't change the color of your hair

You always have my unspoken passion

Although I might not seem to care

Ok - Instead of just adding my 2 cents here (me - the romance-killer) - I will just interpret what he is actually saying: "Don't try anything new - firstly, it costs money and secondly I like the way you are.. no drastic changes (ok. I'll give him that piece - don't go bleaching your silken brown hair or getting an afro because you think it's the new style - esp when it may just shock the poor man).

But what the hell is "unspoken passion" - you lazy man!! if you are passionate, SHOW it - speak it, scream it, display it - we are not mind readers!!! gees. I do not know that anything passionate can be unspoken, if it is, I question whether it is passion at all. Regardless of what personality type you are - passion is not hidden...

...And I might not "seem to care".... HEY LADY - if he doesn't seem to care - he probably doesn't!!

I don't want clever conversation

I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are.

Oh - it gets worse.. he is not only lazy to display passion and wants you to live off the unspoken love he has for you and doesn't seem to care, but he is too lazy, busy, indifferent or otherwise pre-occupied to have conversation with you about more than his toe jam. So, please don't go getting all smart and don't improve your intelligence or knowledge about anything, that is just too bloody exhausting.

Then he insults you by saying: "I want you just the way you are.." I.E - No CLEVER conversation! lovely.

I need to know that you will always be

The same old someone that I knew

The insults continue... the same OLD someone that I knew. I know some will argue that he means the person he met and fell in love with is enough and it is romantic that he will love you just as you are - no pretense, no contest.. but I beg to differ..

I NEED to know that you will always be... - AKA: Please don't improve, evolve or grow as a person.. please stay like THIS so that I don't have to get to know you all over again.. it's tiring. Life is hard enough without having to put any extra effort into love.. love needs to be easy.. stay sweet, dont change in appearance, dont talk all clever - then we are all good - everyone's happy (puke)

What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

Bla bla bla - believe in what? My old fashioned clothes and hairstyle, inefficient communication skills (which BTW you LOVE)

I said I love you and that's forever

And this I promise from the heart

I could not love you any better

Really? I somehow think that every person can love their partner BETTER than "unspoken passion, don't talk all fancy, don't go changing your looks, don't make me work hard, just stick through good and bad times and above all STAY as you are. period." And then I will love you the way you are - FOREVER. Sounds appealing!

I love you just the way you are.

Bang!! Bang!! whatever Billy Joel this is such a display of mediocrity disguised as romance in a beautiful melody. I do NOT concur

Hey, Maybe this song was co-written by Steve Harvey. ;-)