HAVE THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE…

My life never ceases to be a roller coaster ride… when it takes me up, it goes on for such a long time and you have that anticipation of the fear and adrenalin you know awaits you on the way down… it’s frightening and exhilarating and on the way down, your heart climbs out of your chest. For some people, it’s just pure fear and they cannot wait until it ends and for others they laugh and let their hair fly back and scream enjoying the moment..

Well, mine is so many times a combination of all of these all at once!

There are days when I take a walk in the warm sunshine in the middle of the afternoon. Having worked 4 hours, I drink a chai latte and my heart smiles broadly. The butterflies fly in formation around my soul. And then in that same day I get news in the mail or other wise and it takes me to that place on the coaster where you wonder: “what If I fall?”, “what if I die?”, “What happens next?”.. and in those moments my heart can’t stand the fear..

I wrote a book called: "changing your life one day at a time" and I read through some of it today – sometimes you need to be motivated and inspired by an event or a person and sometimes you need to be your own inspiration. Today I asked myself when my life will be stable and then myself answered me: “Who signed up for stable!” ha ha

Then there is a higher force in my heart, in the universe Who supersedes any place in life that I can find answers, inspiration and help.

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?

And who told the ocean you can only come this far?

And who showed the moon where to hide till evening?

Whose words alone can catch a falling star? And the same gentle hands, that hold me when I’m broken…

I stand on the pinnacle of happiness.. No, actually I bask in its glory and the peace which sometimes eludes me, overtakes me… and often reigns over me. And it’s like I know I am where I belong.. even when the storm is raging outside the walls of my being and my control - within.. there is silence.. peace. Life is SO amazing! One can never discount the support structures and the pillars you have in your life…

So these days I have a great routine.. I wake up and work, I take a walk in the warm sun at midday. I cook some lunch and feed the turtle. I then go for another walk to do some errands, maybe go lay at the pool at the W hotel. Do a some more work and connect with friends, go to the gym for an hour, watch some television and go out for a night walk, or have a quick nap, go watch a movie or walk through the mall, havea drink and solve some IQ quizzes with friends. I read a lot on line, been doing so much research about the most interesting things. My mind has been more stimulated than ever before!! What a wonderful time for me.. what a great privilege for which I am ever grateful to have this sabbatical, if you will, from the regular rat race.. and just live and take life in. Don’t get me wrong.. working has its place and I enjoy the office environment very much and being so busy your brain hurts has a feeling of being productive, being integrated and contributing your talents to whatever cause you choose.. but in this moment.. I just am…. Nothing else.. just living. I love it.