Evolution and such

Here I am having a moment of Random ramblings with myself again. 

So, I turn to my good old friend.  "My Blog"

This past weekend I went to Disneyland.  It was so much fun to be a kid again. Ofcourse, I am not THAT much of a kid, that my sense of fear has eluded me enough to try crazy roller coaster rides.

Nevertheless, a midst the constant teasing and name calling about how lame / weak / or a wimp I am.. I just took it in my stride, in good fun and didn't take anything personally.  I went on a few kids rides, had a few laughs - exaggerated the fun for the sake of the kids, screaming and laughing, throwing up my hands and being goofy - it was liberating and fun.

At the end of the day, I am just one of those people who can dish it AND take it.  Many of my name callers.. not so much - the minute they get dealt some teasing.. all of a sudden it becomes "personal attacks" - They get all defensive or become silent and miserable or even resort to insulting.. so - what? I will be the wimp of the day.  I am cool with that.  Life is to short to sweat all this small stuff...

Also, nice to experience people in a completely different environment.

Reflections: 

As my 40th birthday fast approaches and this year races on like nothing I have ever known. I have come to a few conclusive facts about myself:

Though I feel and look like a lessor version of my youthful self,  I can truly now say, I am So much less vain.  Oh, isn't that the irony.. You are so encumbered with vanity when you are youthful and fit, your skin is amazing, and you can drink the hind legs off a donkey and shake it off the next day!

But when the beauty fades and all is stripped away.. things suddenly become more real. You start to value who you are as a person in this world.

I haven't "saved" anyone lately, I find myself having to be the product of being saved!

Thanks to my very close girlfriends and my life coach.. I get pulled up out of the rubble of my own mind.. and then I can see clearly again.

That does not mean that I don't still get depressed about it - I have just realized the fact that how my face looks, largely is up to genes and fate - ofcourse I need to keep trying to be healthy holistically. But there are some things, you just cant avoid.

Secondly, I learned that My body looks the way it looks directly because of the lifestyle I live. Nothing more nothing less. I am the only one who allowed myself to look this way.

Once I have faced those facts> I am now liberated to change it / accept it / love it or hate it.

So, today - instead of freaking about how much I ate this weekend. I just keep starting again - over and hope I can be consistent in the midst of a pretty crazy life!.

Less sugar, more veggies, more exercise. The more I do that, the more success will find me.

And in the meantime - Just love my curves. But not allow them to become bulges and bumps!

Sounds good?

Hooray!

BTW in 2007 - that picture isn't Photoshopped.. or enhanced by some phone APP>. that's really how my skin looked.  

Celebrate who you were.

Celebrate who you are

Celebrate who you will be

warts and all.

<3