Memorial Day weekend.
I had been looking forward to this weekend for a while, as I have been working really hard in the past 3 months, been so busy slogging away - I needed rest.  The lazy, leisurely life I once enjoyed, a distant memory.  When the weekend finally came.. I am not sure if my body just crashed and burned or what happened, but I spent the entire weekend with a pounding headache, stomach aches and light headed feelings.


Today is Memorial Day - I guess.. for me.. it marks the end of the first part of 2010.  There are so many exciting things on the horizon. The World Cup Soccer just 2 weeks away.. I am ever so excited to watch  my beloved country be the host of the most watched event on the planet.


First... a look back.
January and February found me working at home, 3 hours a day - spending most days in the mall or at the pool. Loving that life - it got me into a great fitness routine, gave me time to write and spending time on expunging my mind from work and just enjoying and seeing life, reflecting, inflecting and just simply enjoying.


March till now has been a learning process, getting to know new people, systems and ways of working, using my experience and knowledge to make things happen.  This has given me the opportunity to stretch and expand myself into so many different areas and get to a place where I have to make the balance of life happen.   Making time for my ernjoyments, my friends and myself.... It hasnt  been easy.. It  also seems the more I exercise, the more weight I gain, the healthier I eat, the more my clothes pop! What is up with that! lol. Maybe it has something to do with errr hum.. turning 35??


Three months down the road (almost) - I am no longer brand new at work, so the pressure is not as much from here on forward except to succeed and grow.  I await in anticipation some news about stability... as well as saving money and planning a few trips.. This will be the first year since I was 19... that half the year has gone by and I havent travelled or atleast have a ticket booked somewhere around the globe!!!  Weird!
But all in good time!


June to December I expect to become even busier... I need to start making my financial investments into something of a future and still be able to scrounge out money to eat.. laugh and pray in some of the worlds most amazing places.... I am still burdened hard with compassion.. it never escapes me.. I want to rescue the planet - do "my part".. and save its' beautiful people.. When I was in Denver.. I started on a lonely journey to save one soul.. educate one person.. make someone smile and give someone hope.. It was a very lonely time for me.. but it gave me much fulfilment and joy.


There is something to be said about destiny.. or is it just a yearning that you are born with that which you cannot escape?  Someone once said destiny is merely a philosophy that you subscribed to when you feel you cannot control your own path..  I disagree - I believe vehemently in it.. and yet, it won't JUST happen regardless... you are destined for a great thing.. If you walk a path of passion, compassion and integity.. and also hard work and focus. Because it matters not where I go, or what I do - it stands in front of me like an unconquerable ghost.. this thing.. that I am happily haunted by - reminding me that my life is to be given... not just lived for myself.

So, I have started planning toward my personal goals for the rest of this year - as I turn a milestone corner in age.. I believe this is the time for me to take the world by the horns...with more urgency - more than ever before. Let go of the trivial things that hold me back in life.....

I am ready... rock and roll.. new start... here I come.

There will be days like this......

I haven't really written much of anything in a while. 

Let me tell you a little about my life, right now.

Job number 1.

I am in Business Development.. I do a host of variety of things for an awesome company with great people... and I LOOOOOOVE it.  But it is hectic, the days fly and most days, I can't believe my luck, nor can I believe that the week is over.

Job number 2:

Contractor for old company.  Still the same good pals, great people and the work must go on.

My days are roughly 10 hours in length and then I have to hit the gym.. which I must say has yielded little to no results in the past few months and I am getting frustrated - but someone believes it is good for you!  So I press on.

I have summmer all the time. The weather is unbelievable.  I live in a complex that looks like a resort and I drive a dream car (non of which is really mine! LOL)

I said all of that to say....  This weekend, like most, I get to Saturday - wake up early and watch the Formula one race - tired eyes, in my pjs, while the sun streams through my window.  I then get up, clean, faff and go out into the sun.. have a lazy day - maybe shop or catch a movie, or meet up with people..

Sunday rolls around pretty much the same - I catch up on reading, writing emails and calling everyone whom I missed in the week due to said schedule. Its a pretty sweet existence...

But then today happens.. and I do me - like I do.. but something feels off.. I feel.. well, alone in the world.

I sit to write - nothing comes

I look for inspiration - it eludes me

I call a friend - no one is available..

It's just one of those days.. on the cusp of a hectic week.. and I cannot find my peace and joy - I feel ... well - something not definable...

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Khalil Gibran...